• The older I get, the more modest my goals … i.e., I would like to wash my hands without splashing the front of my pants.
• Idle thought while hanging out with idle people: They need to hang out with a better quality person.
• I’m not unobservant … I’m just heavily medicated… Continue Reading
•I don’t get it…when I run on the treadmill, I feel like my hair is flying, then I look in the mirror and I’m frigging not moving…I guess the flying hair image should have been a give away. •When I… Continue Reading
•I have a friend who retired, likes to watch TV and sing along with the theme songs. Is he a Barcalounge lizard? •Hey!! Where the %$#@& is Cary Grant? •I’m so tired of holding my stomach in and positioning my… Continue Reading
• I once ran a marathon without training. Hell, I don’t know what I was thinking either. When it became obvious I was going to collect yet another trophy for last place, I ducked into the bushes and lit a cigarette.
• I write in short choppy sentences because that’s the way my mind tosses it out. I’ve been warned that it’s coming out that way or not at all … Continue Reading
I have a small scar over my left eye. I’m thinking of having it removed. The kind doctor looked at my mature body, jowls, receding hairline, saggy eyelids and said, “Why?” My problem is my doctors are too damned young.… Continue Reading
When I was younger, my cars tended to be sleek and fast. As I have “matured,” they are boxier and slower. We have become our cars. In a belated effort to again be sleek and fast, I bought a little… Continue Reading
Looking in the mirror this morning, I thought of the photographer the day before, “Let’s shoot your good side”, he said. Using the crooked mirror behind me, I looked at both saggy profiles … I laughed …hell, shoot ‘em both.… Continue Reading
I walked into a 7-11 to buy a paper…”Yo, Mr. Weight Watcher, over here”… a rectangle of crusty, sugar-coated dough fried in pig fat was calling to me. I checked the app on my phone…no calories listed just a blinking… Continue Reading
• I’m a sucker for “How We Met” stories… spouse, friend, significant other… I like ‘em all. Cherry and I met on a blind date and were married two months later at the Redding Airport… they held the plane until… Continue Reading
• People ask me all the time if I regret not having kids. My pause, though not pregnant, seems to make them uncomfortable. • If I were King of California, I would not leave the budget decisions to the politicians.… Continue Reading
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