A little advice to men posting photos on a dating service … don’t pose wearing a wife-beater T-shirt, while holding up a fish (bigger is not better) with your pit bull Sparky nearby. I heard someone say he was depressed… Continue Reading →
My mustache recently had its 30th birthday so I whacked it. The logic for doing so, like the hair, was a little gray and fuzzy. When my upper lip was visible, I immediately remembered why I covered it for so… Continue Reading →
• The plumber came to unplug my drain…he said it was hair. He looked a little startled when I gave him a high five and a large tip. I was so proud I had enough hair left to clog a… Continue Reading →
• Images burned into my brain … tan leisure suit, flowered shirt, white belt and shoes … white suit, spread collar shirt … Jeez doctor, tell me I never did that, even for a day.
• Doctor … Sure, OK, you never did that … pay on your way out and next week, let’s try to move you out of the seventies.
• Calamari dipped in batter, fried in oil, and … Continue Reading →
• Nomination for the most influential person in our lives? … Whoever gave us our last haircut leaving high school … Most of us were so impressed we’ve kept the style forever.
• I so admire people who are naturally positive … I spend too much time in a snit trying to buy into that up-beat s— …
• When did my swagger become a waddle?… a swaddle? … Continue Reading →
• I must be a memorable guy … I’ve been going to the same restaurant in San Francisco for over 30 years …usually the same waiter … The last time I was in he said, “you look familiar, been in… Continue Reading →
• The older I get, the more modest my goals … i.e., I would like to wash my hands without splashing the front of my pants.
• Idle thought while hanging out with idle people: They need to hang out with a better quality person.
• I’m not unobservant … I’m just heavily medicated… Continue Reading →
•I don’t get it…when I run on the treadmill, I feel like my hair is flying, then I look in the mirror and I’m frigging not moving…I guess the flying hair image should have been a give away. •When I… Continue Reading →
•I have a friend who retired, likes to watch TV and sing along with the theme songs. Is he a Barcalounge lizard? •Hey!! Where the %$#@& is Cary Grant? •I’m so tired of holding my stomach in and positioning my… Continue Reading →
I walked into a 7-11 to buy a paper…”Yo, Mr. Weight Watcher, over here”… a rectangle of crusty, sugar-coated dough fried in pig fat was calling to me. I checked the app on my phone…no calories listed just a blinking… Continue Reading →