•The quantity and depth of my triteness is stunning. •Hey! Where’d you get those great retro aviator sunglasses? Um…bought ‘em new 40 years ago. We’re not retro, just old. •After many years of loving attention, I catch my mirror lying,… Continue Reading
I’m a guy who can sit at his keyboard and crank out a column for ANewsCafe.com in about 30 minutes when I’ve got an itch to scratch. Finding enough words to fill a couple of pages isn’t a problem. My… Continue Reading
•Looters … go straight to hell. •Standing with neighbors watching a massive wall of flames from a nearby subdivision. •Evacuate now or wait for orders…there’s no easy answer. The heart says stay. The mind says get out now. •The fire… Continue Reading
•My accountant said…you’re screwed. •Reduced to pointing…ordered coffee…asked 122 questions about flavors, additives, seasonal compatibility, sizes, place of consumption…small is Grande. Grande isn’t. I pointed at the first thing I saw…one of those please. •After shopping, when exiting the parking… Continue Reading
•At 70, I realized my life was ½ over. •If you want a lovely tee shirt with the above statement, send $49.95, plus tax, plus shipping, plus handling … no substitutions. •Charges for handling brings up an uncomfortable image so… Continue Reading
•Am I the only person in the world who can’t take a selfie? Distorted nose and one buggy eye, no subject matter…I look like a very ugly fish in every one. •I think I’ve figured out I can’t get help… Continue Reading
While having lunch with three friends, we invented a new (to us) game… “Conversation Starters That Stop Conversations.” We listed 50 or so but the one that stuck with me was, “I’m only telling you this as a friend…” No!… Continue Reading
A little advice to men posting photos on a dating service … don’t pose wearing a wife-beater T-shirt, while holding up a fish (bigger is not better) with your pit bull Sparky nearby. I heard someone say he was depressed… Continue Reading
My mustache recently had its 30th birthday so I whacked it. The logic for doing so, like the hair, was a little gray and fuzzy. When my upper lip was visible, I immediately remembered why I covered it for so… Continue Reading
• The plumber came to unplug my drain…he said it was hair. He looked a little startled when I gave him a high five and a large tip. I was so proud I had enough hair left to clog a… Continue Reading
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