Forty-0ne weeks. I can’t believe it. That’s how long I’ve been on this health-and-fitness journey with Matthew Lister at Align Private Training.
Forty weeks happens to be the gestation period of an average pregnancy. Just think: In the time between December — when I started this program — and now, I could have a week-old newborn if there were a biological miracle, or star in the east.
No baby, but instead, I lost 30 pounds, which is where I’ve leveled off for now. For about two months, Matthew had me focus more on strenuous workouts to increase my metabolism, and less on losing weight. During this time, he also slowly increased my calories, to see how my body would handle it. We capped the calories at about 2,000 calories a day, a number that before would have plumped me up faster than you could say Lane Bryant caftan.
This change wasn’t just about calories, but food content. It wasn’t as if I could go wild and eat three coffee/almond/chocolate Häagen-Dazs bars and call it a day. Instead, this calorie increase was selective and controlled. I got carbs in the morning with my beloved oatmeal, topped with apple or peaches. And I got fruit and protein (for me, that meant cottage cheese, or ricotta cheese) for my morning and afternoon snacks. The biggest luxury of all was the option to include a small amount of carbohydrate at lunch or dinner. Nothing crazy, but like a turkey sandwich on skinny bread for lunch, or some brown rice with dinner.
It was an experiment to test out my metabolism after all these months of strenuous exercise and controlled nutrition. Matthew wanted to see how my body would react to more calories in the form of carbohydrates. Would I gain weight, lose weight, or stay the same?
Matthew’s expectation was my weight would stay the same. That’s exactly what happened. I hate when he’s right. He must have reminded me, oh, once a week, to not expect weight loss during that time. But I’m a magical thinker. I still expected magical weight loss despite increased calories. That’s my kind of math.
Oh well. It was an interesting and indulgent time to have more carbs throughout the day. It was great while it lasted, but I wanted to move back into the weight-loss mode.
When I started this program, I said I didn’t know exactly how much weight I wanted to lose; that I’d see how I felt at each stage. I now know I want to lose another 10 pounds for sure; maybe even 20. With that in mind, last week Matthew reduced my daily calories to the 1,200 to 1,500 range, which is just slightly higher than where I began nine months ago.
In the meantime, it’s an ongoing mental challenge for me to keep my mind on health and fitness and off the scale. That’s why, to quote the eloquent words and wisdom of Matthew R. Lister, “scales suck”. He has a bag full of confiscated scales – mine included – at Align to prove it.
Doni’s dearly departed scale – the black-and-white one on the far right – joins others collected by Matthew after their owners became too fixated on numbers.
Matthew says scales suck because there are so many variables and body fluctuations that affect the numbers at that particular weigh-in. Did you drink more or less water? How much sodium was in your food? What kind of clothing were you wearing? What time of day did you weigh? Were you retaining water? Did you have your – uh – morning constitution? When did you eat last, and what was it?
Also, Matthew says scales suck because a person can be gaining valuable muscle weight while losing unwanted inches, resulting in someone who weighs the same, or even – gasp – more that before, but who is smaller in size.
As Matthew’s fond of asking, “What would you rather have: a lower number on the scale or smaller clothing?”
I want both, but, as one of my ex-husbands used to say, people in hell want ice water, too.
That’s OK. I’m still down 30 pounds and 4 clothing sizes. I use 35-pound hand weights. I can hold planks like nobody’s business. And Satan’s bicycle doesn’t intimidate me (as much) anymore. (It helped that I JUST figured out today how to adjust the seat to move forward and backward. What a difference for my short-waisted, long-legged self!)
My health improvements have been just as mental as physical. For example, last weekend I tried stand-up paddle boarding for the first time. Sure, I fell. Twice. But I got back up, and eventually, nearly felt comfortable standing up there, gliding miraculously on water.
Plus, you know that I auditioned for and got a part in Shasta College’s “To Kill a Mockingbird”.
OK, so what if my part isn’t pretty? So what if my part doesn’t show off my new body? So what if I only have 13 lines? So what if my Mrs. Dubose character is a cranky, racist, morphine-addicted old woman who scares children? It’s a start, right? And it’s a part, right? It took confidence I lacked a year ago to even consider auditioning for anything. I’m going to do this part proud and give it 1,000 percent.
Speaking of Mrs. Dubose, wouldn’t you know it, that after working all these months to improve my posture and fitness, it turns out Mrs. Dubose is not just elderly and unpopular, but she’s hunched over and walks with a cane.
With that in mind, Matthew and I had a funny reverse workout session last week as he showed me exactly how to move and sit to look to the part of poor Mrs. Dubose: shoulders curved forward, back hunched, with my head extended out in front, like a turtle. Matthew demonstrated how out-of-shape people walk; not in a straight line, but almost side to side, to compensate for painful hips, back and knees. He’s an expert. He’s seen enough poor posture to know how it looks (and how to fix it).
What a trip, to actually get coaching on how to look out of alignment! I know, it’s a nice problem to have.
In two weeks I’ll have new numbers and photos as evidence of my improvements. Prepare to be amazed. I am!
But first, next week I will share one of the most powerful and moving interviews I’ve written here on The Weight is Over. You won’t want to miss it.
Until then, I have to get ready for tonight’s rehearsals to be my very best Mrs. Dubose: “Don’t say hey to me, you ugly girl! You say, ‘Good afternoon, Mrs. Dubose.’ ”
