There’s cooking, and there’s catering. Me? I’m a cook. I swore off catering more than 12 years ago after I prepared the food for my niece’s wedding. It was my gift to the bride and groom.
The theme was Old World Tropical, and in preparation for that special day I spent untold hours making hundreds of spring rolls, pot stickers, dumplings, won tons, chicken satay, peanut sauce, and other foods. I may have made some desserts, too, but I seriously don’t recall.
I do recall that I prepared so much food that I rented a freezer locker at a meat processing place in town for overflow storage after my garage freezer would hold no more. I made so much food that when it came time to drive to the wedding, we used a pickup so we could haul all those ice chests full of Old World Tropical food from Redding to Lake Tahoe. I made so much food that I asked my twin to select the name of a nearby homeless shelter where we could drop off the leftovers I knew we’d surely have.
After all, it wasn’t like we were feeding the guests an actual meal. It was just appetizers, cake and beverages.
Apparently, some people didn’t get the memo.
That wedding reception was the perfect catering storm, a combination of some ravenous guests, and a fair number of unexpected guests who’d not RSVP’d (a capital crime,in my book). The food must have looked appealing, because when it was announced that the buffet tables were open, several younger, faster young men rushed to the front of the line where they loaded up their plates as if it were The Last Supper, leaving the older, slower (more courteous) folks to amble at the back of the line, like the weakest stragglers of a starving herd. They didn’t have a prayer.
Guests aside, I accept full responsibility for the catering disaster. Oh, I learned so much in retrospect. For example, I had set out dinner-sized plates, which allowed the more dexterous guests to stack spring rolls like cordwood, when I should have used appetizer-sized plates. I should have also put the less-expensive filler food – fruit kabobs, bread, etc. – at the start of the buffet, so by the time guests arrived at the most expensive, tedious-to-prepare foods, their plates would only have enough room for a sampling of each.
To this day, when I think of Justin and Brooke’s wedding, what I remember most is my darkest moment during the reception, when a long line of mostly senior guests approached the buffet with looks of confusion. The tables before them resembled a post-locust scene from “Little House on the Prairie”.
Somewhere I have a video of that wedding reception, and there are a few frames of me: eyes wide, hands to my mouth, shaking my head – no, no, no – as I beheld the sight of my twin’s elderly in-laws, some who’d traveled all the way from Indiana, gawking at empty platters strewn with parsley and curly lettuce garnish.
Thank God someone else was responsible for the cake.
This story is the reason I always give for why I don’t cater. Even so, lately, against my better judgement, I have accepted a couple of cooking jobs that sounded fairly manageable. However, first I make it clear that I am not a real caterer. I’m just a home cook who can sometimes handle large-ish private groups.
I bring this up because I was recently hired to cook for a club’s meeting. The menu was decided for me: a baked potato bar for about 75 people, as well as salad, corn muffins and dessert. I could do that.
And the baked potato bar? Easy. Baked potatoes and toppings. Bam!
My son helped me figure out how many ounces each I should purchase per person for sour cream, grated cheese, chopped bacon, scallions, butter and chili. We figured about 1.5 ounces for everything except chili, and that was more like 4 ounces. I hate catering math.
I shopped at Cash and Carry for the big-quantity items, which included, of course, the potatoes. I bought a “90” – which is a 50-pound box of 90 russet potatoes, all roughly the same size. Which reminds me, this is one of the other things I do not like about catering: It’s really heavy work. Although the young man at Cash and Carry was kind enough to load all those supplies in my car, I could not convince him to come home with me to unload them. Praise be to Jazzercise that I can lift 50-pounds of potatoes. But not without some effort. It’s not a pretty sight, and it involves grunting.
Let me cut to the chase here and put your minds at ease and assure you that the catering – I mean cooking job – went well, without a hitch or glitch, and the people seemed happy with the food. I’d enlisted chopping help from my sister before the event, and a friend to help me the night of the event. Thank you Shelly and Canda.
But what I really wanted to share with you are my tips for making delicious baked potatoes for a crowd, now that I’m a potato bar expert. First, wash the potatoes, which I did by dumping them in my huge farm-style sink and scrubbing them through three water changes. Potatoes are filthy, you know.
Tip No. 1: I credit this from one of the women at the event that evening, who mentioned in passing that when she makes potatoes for a crowd, she washes them in the dishwasher. Brilliant! I’ll do that next time and shave about an hour off the process.
Tip No. 2: Buy one of those boxes of individual foil sheets. I’m not usually a fan of foil-wrapped potatoes, because they can sometimes make the potatoes steamy, and the skins soft. But in this case, I chose the foil squares for a few reasons. They were the perfect size for one potato, and the foil keeps the heat in longer. Besides, those grubby brown potatoes look prettier decked out in silver for a special event.
Tip No. 3: For the best baked potato flavor, I adapted something I learned from my former in-laws (both great cooks), which is why this is called the Domke secret to delicious baked potatoes: Bacon grease, salt and pepper. I had plenty of bacon grease from making all those bacon bits, but the truth is, I always keep a supply of bacon grease in the fridge for other things, like melted and drizzled in waffle batter, and for a wilted spinach salad. For this event, though, I added a little mashed garlic and some butter, to make it a little more rich. And I added the salt and pepper to the mixture, rather than sprinkling the potatoes with salt and pepper, the Domke way. Use a sharp little knife and do a psycho-stab over all the potatoes, then grease them and wrap them in foil. (For the record, the Domke way, which I prefer, is to let the greased, seasoned potatoes bake sans foil. This makes the skin absolutely delicious and crispy.)
Tip No. 4. Load up the cookie sheets. My oven has three racks, which hold three commercial sized baking sheets, which fit all 90 potatoes. I cranked up the oven to about 500 degrees, and cooked them at that temperature for about 40 minutes, before reducing the temperature to 400 degrees for another 40 minutes or so, or until the potatoes could be easily pierced with a fork. Then I turned off the oven and let the potatoes hang out until time for transfer.
Tip No. 5: Hot or Cold bags. I bought them at the nearby Dollar Tree and divided the hot potatoes between three bags. (I could have fit more, but I didn’t want them too squished.)
Tip No. 6: An ice chest. I got this idea from son Josh who uses ice chests lined in bath towels to transport pots of chili for tailgate meals during Christmas-tree cutting. I’m always amazed that the chili is still piping hot, even after a long drive up to the cold mountains. I lined my cute vintage ice chest with a tablecloth, then carefully set the hot/cold insulated bags full of potatoes inside the ice chest.
Guess what? An hour later, when dinner was served, the potatoes were still so hot that I needed a potholder to pick them up. I must say, I’m pretty pleased with how they turned out. And much to my surprise, hours later, when I was unloading my car and putting things away, the potatoes were still warm.
Maybe my catering curse has lifted, but I won’t push it.
A recent cooking event with Chris Carter, friend/assistant at O Street Gallery. Photo by Shelly Shively.
Meanwhile, remember the wedding I catered? Well, despite the fact that statistically speaking, half of U.S. marriages end in divorce, I’m happy to report that Brooke and Justin are still married, and have three adorable daughters. In fact, come July, Justin and Brooke will have been married 13 years. Pretty impressive.
Come to think of it, I just may have stumbled across the recipe for a long marriage: Have such a disaster of a reception that the couple would do anything to avoid a second marriage and a repeat performance of that nightmare.
You’re welcome, you two.
Independent online journalist Doni Chamberlain founded what’s now known as anewscafe.com in 2007 with her son, Joe Domke of the Czech Republic. Prior to 2007 Chamberlain was an award-winning newspaper opinion columnist, feature and food writer recognized by the Associated Press, the California Newspaper Publishers Association and E.W. Scripps. She lives in Redding, CA.
