Note from Doni: Readers, please join me in welcoming Redding resident Adrienne Jacoby and her column, “Just Sayin’ ” to A News Cafe.com’s family of contributors. No doubt you will recognize Jacoby as one of the this site’s most frequent commenters; always witty and civilzed and wise. She has so much to say, it turns out, that she had enough to write her own column. Today is the first of what we hope will be many more. Welcome, and thank you, Adrienne.
Failures and foibles.
We all have them, you know. In great quantity and variety. And what’s one person’s failure is another person’s foible. I guess that’s the beauty of being human. The infinite variety and combination of failures and foibles. I bettcha, if you made a list of your top 10 foibles and your top 10 failures and asked a number of your friends to do the same, it would astound you how many of your “failure” items ended up on other people’s “foible” list . . . and visa versa.
So what’s the difference? My explanation, supported by Webster’s . . . kinda . . . is that a foible is a forgivable little misstep. As for failure, we all KNOW what that one means. We all have the emotional scars to show for our failures.
So, what does all this matter? We all look out on the world through our own assessment glasses. We make judgments according to our experiences. We all weigh in on our own and each others’ shortcomings . Makes me wonder what kind of difference it would make if we concentrated on our own and the world’s LONG comings. We all have those, too, you know.
Somewhere along the line we need to realize the for every failure we have a talent; for every foible we have a strength. OK, maybe not a straight-across tit for tat, but it pretty much evens out in the end if we allow it.
So, let me suggest that when you get through making your list of failures and foibles, you also make a list of strengths and talents.
Oh, I’m not suggesting you sit down and make literal lists (although it probably wouldn’t hurt), but the next time you’re beating yourself or someone else up for this or that, allow yourself to acknowledge some redeeming qualities.
I guess what I would like to encourage is a little forgiving generosity, not only for those around us, but for ourselves, as well. Rose colored glasses, you say? Pollyanna? OK, perhaps. But let me give you this: Those of you who view the world through black-and-white polarized lenses may live a simpler, but way-more-painful life than those who seem to reside in the maybe fringes.
Besides that, just think how boring it would be to live in bland perfection!
Adrienne Jacoby is a 40-plus-year resident of Shasta County and native-born Californian. She was a teacher of vocal music in the Enterprise Schools for 27 years and has been retired for 11 years.
A musician all her life, she was married to the late Bill Jacoby with whom she formed a locally well -known musical group who prided themselves in playing for weddings, wakes, riots, bar mitzvas and super market openings. And, oh yes . . . she has two children, J’Anna and Jayson.
A News Cafe, founded in Shasta County by Redding, CA journalist Doni Chamberlain, is the place for people craving local Northern California news, commentary, food, arts and entertainment. Views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of anewscafe.com.