Are You a Good Person?

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good person

Something I’ve realized as of late is that I might actually be a good person. It may seem kinda crazy that this is a recent realization, but there’s a big difference between knowing you’re a good person in your head and knowing it in your heart.

I’ve always believed it in my head, but in order to realize it in my heart I had to learn to like myself. Yup, Mr. Life Coach Guy is just now starting to like himself.

Obviously there are parts of myself that I’ve always liked, but there have also been parts that I didn’t. I don’t even think I fully understood how much I disliked those things about myself.

It’s like coming out of the closet … again.

This is what I’m learning to appreciate: I’m nerdy, I’m quirky, kind of a loner, a bit awkward, meticulous, demanding, blunt, and I say off-color things sometimes (though I did kinda like that part of myself already).

But, just because I’m learning to appreciate these parts of myself, doesn’t mean that I don’t still need to temper them. What it means is that I’m accepting these qualities instead of judging myself for them.

It also means that I am surrounding myself with people who can accept these qualities, too. It’s OK if I annoy people sometimes (though that clearly never happens), because I can’t be anybody other than who I am.

What’s interesting about liking myself more is that I also see more of the good parts shining through. I find myself being more generous, kind, open, and even more trusting.

Of course I still have days when I don’t feel like much of a rock star. In fact, I just had a couple of those days last week. (Apologies to those who had to bear witness.)

But, as I keep learning to like myself or, dare I say, love myself, I have to ask, “Would you talk to or treat other people the way you treat yourself? Would you treat a child that way? Would you tell them they’re stupid or fat or ugly? Would you deny them healthy food or exercise?”

No, because that’s cruel and you’re a better person than that … Right??

Let’s be kind to ourselves this week. Cuz we deserve it.


Your Self Esteem

John Kalinowski
John Kalinowski is a Redding native based in New York. He’s an NYU-Certified Life Coach, Mindfulness Expert, Columnist, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Art-Lover, and Truth-Teller. You can connect with him on FacebookTwitterGoogle+, or visit his website at
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5 Responses

  1. A. Jacoby A. Jacoby says:

    Again, I’m reminded of my 60-year-younger person who was sitting in some meeting where the minister was bath . . . I mean, teaching about the fact that we should all view ourselves as servants to our fellow man. Noble thought, right? And my 19-year-old self said to myself, “Self, the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself and if you don’t love yourself enough to take care o yourself, you have nothing left to give your neighbor!” An important lesson that I seem to have to learn over and over and over . . . . and . . . . over, ad infinitum!!

  2. I love the person you are, and I appreciate you so much for sharing your insights and words of wisdom. Thank you, John!

  3. Frank Treadway Frank Treadway says:

    Hi John,  can’t wait until you get tired of the most electric city on the planet and get back to good old Redding, so you can perform some Life Coaching and Mindfulness on some of our needy folks as of late !  Love ya Redding, but somethin’ about the vortex between Mt. Lassen and Mt. Shasta that’s makin’ more than enough folks down right mean-spirited.  I connect with a lot of persons on a daily basis…is it the water or the vortex ?  Something has to give.  Oh, I have a raft full of sweet, wonderful friends, but the others are catching up and that ain’t a good thing.  Hurry John, get on that Amtrak to Redding !

  4. Avatar Dorothy says:

    John,    Give yourself a big hug, for writing this article.  You certainly helped me.