The Quest of an Egomaniac


“How do I get everything I want, right now?”

If we’re not saying it, we’re thinking it, and I’ve realized that getting what you want is about letting go … of what you want.

Getting what you want is really about learning to be your best self, your most loving self, and THAT’S when everything else starts falling into place.

When you create inflexible visions of what you want, how you want it, and when you want it, you set yourself up for a struggle. That struggle is all ego, and it’s equivalent to rowing your boat upstream, resentful that it’s so hard, angry that it’s taking so long, blind to the fact that something even better lies in the opposite direction, which you would see if you took a moment to appreciate the journey.

Life is not about acquiring and achieving; it’s about becoming the best, most loving version of yourself that you can be.

Of course you want to have certain things and certain experiences, but they will not make you better, because that’s what the journey is for. That’s what LIFE is for.

So, if you want a successful career, marriage, kids, friends; then show up for the journey and the rest will follow. Do everything you can to be the happiest, most fulfilled person you can be today, right now.

Be curious, adventurous, vulnerable, and do things that scare you. Be clear about what you want and set out to get it, then let it go. Trust that you’ll get there, even if “there” doesn’t look exactly the way you thought it would.

When you get stuck and start feeling anxious, then just remind yourself that it’s ego, which simply means you’ve momentarily forgotten to appreciate the journey.

Sometimes the ego is useful, and can give you the nudge you need to keep going, but if your life is being guided by ego (anxiety, stress, resentment) then you’ll often feel like you’re fighting your way upstream.

Thankfully, all you need to do is take a breath, acknowledge that it’s your ego, and ask yourself what you could be doing differently. What do you need to learn? What will take you another step closer to your best self?

Because being your best self is what will ultimately make all your dreams come true.

Have a magical week,


John Kalinowski

John Kalinowski is a Redding native based in New York. He’s an NYU-Certified Life Coach, Mindfulness Expert, Columnist, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Art-Lover, and Truth-Teller. You can connect with him on FacebookTwitterGoogle+, or visit his website at johnkalinowski.com.

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