It’s been a while. The last time I wrote to all of you, we were staring down the barrel of an uncertain political future, and my misplaced optimism left me wanting to reassure the reading public that things would be okay.
Perhaps I believed too much in people. Perhaps now we all get to spend the next four years — or however long — watching billionaires claim that a veteran’s funeral service is “wasteful spending”. Or watching our president trying to pressure Canada into forgetting about their whole national history and becoming our 51st state. Speaking of which, sorry, “State of Jefferson” folks, you might have to re-design some of your fantasy merch in your never-ending quest to separate yourself from the state that, compared to other countries worldwide, would rank 5th largest GDP in the world, so that you can set up a sovereign state that would probably be lucky to even rank 196th by that same measurement.
But let’s set aside our egg mortgages and government group chats to talk about something local that’s coming our way. You can check out recent local news articles that will inform you that our current Registrar of Voters is already stepping down.
Just last year, we had something of an absurd relay race picking out Cathy Darling Allen’s replacement after she resigned to focus on her health (we really ought to stick a Surgeon General’s warnings on the elections office at this point). I predicted that the board favorite would be Clint Curtis because when in doubt, you can often predict the board’s decision-making strategies simply by assuming the worst.
After an absurd two-day farce of a public interview/popularity contest, Kevin Crye, so well-known for his humility and willingness to say less and do more, decided to strong-arm the appointment by explicitly announcing to the other members of his infamous board majority that if they did not join his vote for Tom Toller, he would vote with Mary Rickert and Tim Garman for Joanna Francescut.
All this pageantry was clearly necessary, considering that Francescut had already led a primary election on short notice while serving as the acting ROV, had patiently answered the election deniers’ questions, had even spotted famous YouTube jokester Danny Mullen attempting to make a scene and quickly dispatched him to go run amok elsewhere, and had strong recommendations statewide, and even from staunch conservatives like Les Baugh.
In today’s political climate, if Laura Hobbs announces that in her medical opinion, the only free and fair election humanly possible will be using paper ballots shaped like stars and dipped in glitter, with her name written into every position, after which voters must promptly fling themselves off the Sundial Bridge to show true loyalty—a lifelong Republican daring to question the sanity of that statement will be immediately labeled a RINO, and probably by Richard Gallardo.
But let’s get down to brass tacks here. After less than a year fielding the small-but-tiresome Elections Task Force/Commission/Observer set, Tom Toller is already stepping down. Toller’s welcome mat was revoked around October 2024, when he crossed Richard Gallardo by not allowing him to simultaneously run for office and serve as a poll worker.
The horror.
Patrick Jones also continued to parrot his never-substantiated claims of election fraud, even after being slighted by Crye’s heavy-handed appointment of Mr. Toller. Perhaps the fantasy that any lost election is a fraudulent election served as a pacifier of sorts after Jones lost re-election to Matt Plummer by a mere 20% margin (60% chose Mr. Plummer and 40% chose Patrick Jones, despite his home-court advantage as an incumbent). Patrick “Sore Loser” Jones then provided the lone dissenting vote against accepting the results of that same election.
If you just moved here, or have been mercifully depriving yourself of local news stories for the last several years, you can learn all about the cancer that is Patrick Jones, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Self-described “experts” will tell you to reject all those sources, but if you go looking for more positive write-ups of this same guy, you may have a harder time finding more positive coverage than the grueling 30 seconds it took me to find eight different scathing articles just now after simply typing “patrick jones shasta” into a Google search.
Patrick Jones spent the months following the end of his term in office trying to inflict his pet project gun range on the residents of Millville, who successfully obtained a court order forcing Jones to first actually get an Environmental Impact Report before moving forward with his proposed development. It would be naïve to expect Patrick Jones to bother doing anything the right way, so that project will likely die a quiet death. No doubt it will be chalked up by his supporters as either an absurd form of victory (“we OUTED Big Environmental Protections!”) or as a badge of victimhood (“you will NEVER understand the suffering I’ve endured in my noble patriotic quest to provide my chosen demographic with an opportunity to pay me!”).
So what is Patrick Jones doing, now that he’s shopping for new ways to inflict his particular brand of insanity on Shasta County? Purportedly, he “may be interested” in this soon-to-be vacant Registrar of Voters position.
I’m tempted to say let him have it. He will probably just immediately violate state election laws and then the taxpayers will have to foot the bill to put him in a cell, but I can happily live with that for the simple pleasure of not having to hear from or about him for at least a few years.
The less jaded side of me says let’s clearly pick Joanna Francescut. But our board probably won’t.
So far, Kevin Crye can be counted on to look out for his most important constituent: Kevin Crye.
Witness the I-vote-for-ME energy in all its glory.
My prediction is that Mr. Crye will make a whole show of being “fair” and fake his way through an entire speech about how Joanna has gained some experience during the easygoing elections where she (1) suddenly and compassionately took the helm when she had to step up for her boss during a medical emergency and ran the March 2024 primary or (2) had to train up the inexperienced and uninitiated appointment in a matter of months so that he could pull off the simple task of running the November 2024 Presidential Election. Maybe he will dismiss her devotion to the job despite her 16 years of experience and endorsements by both the current and former Registrar of Voters. Maybe he will try to slight Patrick Jones once more for the road by voting to appoint Clint “I can actually mess with our election results” Curtis instead of Patrick Jones himself. Maybe he will directly quote me or refer to this article because his ego is easier to bruise than an avocado. Whatever he chooses to do, it certainly won’t be construed as the right thing.
Now, let’s talk Matt Plummer.
Matt Plummer provided a refreshingly pleasant portrait compared to his surly predecessor’s county photo, which more closely resembled a mugshot.
Matt Plummer will have a whole series of ideas and will want to develop an entire protocol to best evaluate the situation. He will have a few great ideas that will also take longer than the board will let him spend implementing best practices. Mr. Plummer’s noble intentions will be slighted by scheduling and not-so-feigned ignorance.
On to Corkey Harmon!
Corkey Harmon entered office with many mixed expectations about the kind of supervisor he’d turn out to be. So far, he’s mostly just resembled a deer in the headlights.
Corkey Harmon will aw-shucks his way through the entire discussion, offering up wholesome quips and denying any pre-ordained plans exist at all. A “board majority,” you say? How many people make up a majority? Which calendar item are we on here, anyway?
Then there’s Allen Long.
Allen Long narrowly avoided even a runoff to secure his seat in District Two. After a laughable sour grapes attempt by Laura Hobbs to sue her way into power, Long has already proven that he was the FAR better choice.
Allen Long might speak truth to power during this recruitment. Long’s 25 years in law enforcement understandably imparted a desire not to break state laws while in office, and Long may recognize that appointments like Clint Curtis and Patrick Jones will inevitably lead to prosecutions and lawsuits. However, as soon as Long tries to express his concerns, we will all have to endure a flippant monologue from Chair Crye about how Kevin Crye is the greatest human to have ever walked the earth and the laws will actually rewrite themselves to accommodate his importance.
Now let’s talk about Chris Kelstrom.
Mr. Kelstrom has been in office as long as Kevin Crye, but hasn’t been nearly as controversial. I am not aware of any “Recall Chris Kelstrom” shirts that have been worn by county employees, former Department Heads, local leaders, pets, activists, and volunteers.
Mr. Kelstrom is a longtime friend of Patrick Jones, so if personal loyalties win over actual credentials, Mr. Kelstrom may just throw his hat in for Jones and see if Corkey Harmon and Kevin Crye follow suit. But recently, Mr. Kelstrom became something of a folk hero when he finally stood up to the election denier crowd. Mr. Kelstrom hasn’t been as loud or as malicious as his historic counterparts Kevin Crye or Patrick Jones, often dubbed the “JCK Cartel” by local critics. Mr. Kelstrom has lately demonstrated a willingness to stand up to pointless and expensive grandstanding efforts. When Mr. Kelstrom stands up to someone, he inevitably towers over them, for reasons that are obvious if you can spot him in this picture:
It is not easy to look down upon this man, and if you can, I hope you were recruited into the NBA.
Something tells me Mr. Kelstrom is in the power position with this upcoming recruitment. One can hope that his pragmatic disdain for unnecessary lawsuits and a desire to focus on the real work that can be done in Shasta County will prevail over the nonstop obsession with “election interference” that lingers despite the absence of a major election anywhere in the near future (our next scheduled election cycle will be in June of 2026).
One can hope that like many local constituents, audibly booing the tired babbling of Laura Hobbs and Richard Gallardo at the impromptu meeting held at Redding City Hall last week, Chris Kelstrom will actually pick someone who can do their job that hasn’t already been investigated by the Secretary of State over a controversial radio ad soliciting ballots that he tried to blame on his own Election Commissioner pick, and hasn’t already gone on record as a registered Democrat who claimed Bush stole the 2004 election from John Kerry.
But I’ve been wrong before. We’ll have to wait and see.
