How to Game the System

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Life is a system… “a set of connected parts forming a complex whole.”

You are in and of yourself a system, part of many other systems – family, friends, business, government… every relationship you have.

When one part of a system changes then everything changes – even the smallest cog can impact an entire system.

If you want to change a relationship with a family member, friend, boss, coworker, or even yourself, then change what you have the most control over.


If you want something to change in your life then start with yourself – one manageable little adjustment at a time.

Just be willing. Be willing to let go of old wounds. Be willing to learn new ways of seeing and doing. Be willing to operate from love instead of fear.

You change and everything changes… You have all the power.

Time to take it back.


John Kalinowski
John Kalinowski is a Redding native based in New York. He’s an NYU-Certified Life Coach, Mindfulness Expert, Columnist, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Art-Lover, and Truth-Teller. You can connect with him on FacebookTwitterGoogle+, or visit his website at
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6 Responses

  1. Valerie Ing Valerie Ing says:

    That’s the biggest truth I’ve heard all week!

  2. Avatar Rod says:

    What you’re saying John, is pretend to love a separate idea away from reality.  Adjust one’s attitude.

    My entire lifetime I’ve been in fear of nuclear destruction from the forces in power.  Human’s decision to up the ante.  My choice would be to eliminate the threat and the fear along with it.  But it won’t go away.  I can’t dream a little dream and change the world.  So, same as everybody else, I pretend to not know reality.  I place my survival in the care of other people.  Talk about fear!

    “All you need is LOVE, love”… Beatles.  It was fun following this song through youth. But, my comprehension changed dramatically the day John Lennon died.   Fear cannot be replaced by love.

  3. Randall Smith Randall Smith says:

    “The cure for fear is faith.”  And this truth depending upon the recipient may have nothing whatsoever to do with religion.

  4. Avatar A Brady says:

    In the midst of a parent health crisis, with step-parent overwhelmed by the circumstances and many offspring to have opinions (some even with medical careers), I have taken to heart the fact that you can’t change the way other people react, you can only control the way you respond to them.

  5. Avatar Ginny says:

    Love this.  Short, Sweet, and to the Point!


  6. Avatar jobs says:

    There seems to be a much deeper problem with most.  Most likely started from a very early age.