Chill Out

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chill out

I just wanna be productive, energized and happy all the time. Sounds achievable, right?? So, there’s this part of me that likes the idea of being on a fixed routine to insure that I’m able to make that happen. As a life coach, I also feel some kind of self-imposed pressure to always be on track and maintain the facade that I have it all together.

But, not only do I know that it’s unrealistic to always be on track, sometimes I just want to chill out. I want to forget all about work, exercise, meditation, showering, brushing my teeth, making my bed, or maintaining my life in any way. And I do let myself have days like that, which turns out to be one of the most important ways for me to stay on track.

If you’re gonna relax, then relax. Give Yourself Permission. Because if you’re “relaxing,” but you’re judging yourself the whole time and feeling like there’s always something else you should be doing, then you’re not really relaxing. What you’re actually doing is wasting time because you’re not getting the benefits of relaxing, but nor are you accomplishing whatever task(s) you may be fretting about. So, it’s a draw. If you choose to relax then be present for relaxing. If you choose to do something else then be present for that. There’s a time for both. But, if you’re constantly straddling the line between the two then you aren’t doing either one very well.

Being happy and productive is not about being “on” all the time, it’s about showing up for what you need to do to stay healthy and centered. That means instilling certain habits to keep your life moving forward while also allowing yourself the time to let things go once in awhile. That is the sweet spot. That is the balance.

If you can’t remember the last time you really unplugged (sans guilt), then give it a whirl. Go crazy! Take a 30-minute nap on a Saturday, or give yourself a day or even just an evening off from thinking about your to-do list. You don’t have to change your life in one fell swoop, in fact that rarely works, but a little tweak here and there will give you massive returns in the long run.

Have a beautiful week!


John Kalinowski
John Kalinowski is a Redding native based in New York. He’s an NYU-Certified Life Coach, Mindfulness Expert, Columnist, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Art-Lover, and Truth-Teller. You can connect with him on FacebookTwitterGoogle+, or visit his website at
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14 Responses

  1. A. Jacoby A. Jacoby says:

    Good heavens . . . what restorative information. I’m not much one for guilt. It is so counter productive; however, there are days when I do just that: UNPLUG! I may not even get dressed all day. And what do I hear in my head? My grandmother telling me to stop being so lazy and go make my bed. Thank you. Next time I’ll just tell her to “Go talk to John!” It just might work!

  2. Avatar pmarshall says:

    the “F” word is just unproductive.  An excuse for being pretty lazy.  That’s my opinion and I will stick to it.  So, try thinking in some other direction.  Maybe a neighbor needs help, etc.

    • Steve Towers Steve Towers says:

      I think John is merely echoing a pop-culture meme with his use of “CTFO.”  I would bet even money that the originator of the phrase is Samuel L. Jackson in some Quentin Tarantino flick.  Incidentally, some regard the use of “pretty” as an adverb as lazy—one authority says it is “general, vague, and overused.”  Similarly, the use of “etc.” to abbreviate sentences is frowned upon by some.

  3. Avatar Ginny says:

    Yes, as pmarshall said, the “F” word by any means sounds unproductive and unnecessary.  The idea behind it is good, though.   Yes, restore one’s self.


  4. Doni Chamberlain Doni Chamberlain says:

    I paused and considered the headline, and kept it, because for me, it worked.

    I apologize that my decision offended some readers.

    • Avatar Ginny says:

      You decision didn’t offend me, Doni.  I just don’t like to see such a word become what it has as an everyday word because of the vulgarity of it.

      No apology was necessary to me.  ;o)

  5. Avatar EasternCounty says:

    Some 30 years ago, I was walking across a parking lot behind a group of teen-age girls.  One dropped her keys and said, “F***.”  I thought at the time, I wonder what she says when something really bad happens.  All these years later, post Richard Pryor and dozens of movies where the word is sprinkled liberally, I’m no longer abashed.  But I do find, especially with stand-up comics, that their material is so laden with the word that the routines aren’t funny.  Give me Rita Rudner and Jeff Foxworthy any day.

  6. Avatar trek says:

    Put me down as one that didn’t care for the heading. I like a news site that is open as I can choose to read or not to open at all. I choose not to read this particular read.


  7. Steve Towers Steve Towers says:

    The word has been around for a long, long time, and its frequent and perennial use means—like it or not— that it’s part of the language.  The Wikipedia page dedicated to the word has interesting sections on etymology and historic usage.  I was not aware that the 1928 publication of Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence was controversial for its liberal use of various forms of the F-bomb.

  8. A. Jacoby A. Jacoby says:

    How sad that entire message of the article got lost in one word. I just thought he was spelling “Phooey” with an “F”!!

  9. I removed the f and three asterisks from the headline.

    It’s never good when one word out of hundreds becomes the focus, and the article’s topic is lost in the debate about whether it’s good or bad to use a particular word.

    John wrote a good piece, and I hope that now that the offending word is gone, readers will better appreciate the other 387.

  10. Steve Towers Steve Towers says:

    Am I missing the point, or is it okay to be most relaxed when you’re doing something mindful?  For me, it’s hitting tennis balls with my wife—not keeping score, but just enjoying the both of us working on pace, depth, and consistency.  Or it’s time spent making the grandkids laugh.  Making a pot of coq au vin for dinner.  Even sweeping and vacuuming.  Those things are more relaxing to me than sitting on a bench, letting my mind wander.

  11. Avatar Barbara N. says:

    When I want to chill out and I mean it like John originally wrote it…it is camping and pulling weeds.

  12. Avatar MondoBlondo says:

    Article summed up in a few words:      Life is all about “balance” and control of our mentality.