As is frequently the case, reading through one of Rob Lightfoot’s articles it brings to mind a parallel line of thought for me. His story about trying to remember stuff, like names of neighbors, reminded me of some of my experiences around town.
Having taught in a classroom for 27 years and along with that a number of years as a private music teacher, I’ve come in contact with a lot of lives. Some years I would see 1000 (no that is NOT a typo) kids a week. So, in a town this size, it’s not unusual for me to be at the checkout in a store and hear,
“Oh, Mrs. Jacoby, remember me?”
First caveat, let’s remember I am really old. Even though I’ve always been forgetful, (a product of a non-sequential processing mind) it’s finally nice to have a recognizable excuse on which to hang it! Well, there’s a couple of additional things going on here. My first thought is that I hope I didn’t flunk this person in some class and now they are going to add $5.00 to the bill. The second thing that is happening here is that between the ages of 8 – 13 (the ages at which I most frequently saw the kids) and adulthood, there is a mountain of change that takes place. Not only just the face that shows, but the whole skeleton changes proportion, noses lengthen, cheekbones become prominent, jaws become more prominent or less prominent, guys grow facial hair. So do some of the rest of us, but that comes later in life.
Those are all legitimate excuses … and I think that MAY qualify as an oxymoron.
The next tho’t is that a teacher tends to remember the REALLY bad kids. Kinda like you remember getting slapped ten years ago over the piece of candy someone offered you last week. So, I’m thinking, ‚”You better hope I don’t remember you!” But what I say out loud is, “I sure remember the face, but help me with a name.” And with that, I remind them that I AM really old!!
The next part of the equation is, that even though I fudged about recognition and they told me their name, I still may or may not remember them. 1000 kids a week over the space of three or four years? To say nothing of the 300 kids a week the rest of the 27 years? Please?!?
O.K., I have to admit further. One tends to remember the really, really good kids also.
After all, I’m sure I would remember a whole box of Godiva Chocolates way beyond a lot of other things that happened last week. So it is with my students. So many of the really outstanding kids stay with you. But not always. Sometimes the change is so profound that even after they remind me of their names, it is still hard to reconcile the face I remember that goes with that name and the face I see in front of me.
And then, let’s throw in the parents, grandparents and siblings of my students. The type of classes that I taught tended to be the ones that elicited a lot of involvement with the parents and families. Fund raisers, chaperones on over night trips, driving kids to performances, making costumes, making sets, etc. The change in these folks isn’t quite as profound. But ,when I run into these, people I feel genuinely fortunate if I can remember whether it was a son or daughter who was in my program and I can cover with a, “ . . . so, how is our girl (or boy) doing these days?”
Some days that gives me enough time to root around in my memory banks long enough to dig up some appropriate information.
After all, unlike Rob, I don’t have a Karen around to help me!
Adrienne Jacoby is a 40-plus-year resident of Shasta County and native-born Californian. She was a teacher of vocal music in the Enterprise Schools for 27 years and has been retired for 11 years.
A musician all her life, she was married to the late Bill Jacoby with whom she formed a locally well -known musical group who prided themselves in playing for weddings, wakes, riots, bar mitzvas and super market openings. And, oh yes … she has two children, J’Anna and Jayson.
