Whatever You Have – Just Own It

Hello! Happy September! This month I have a silly story to share. I may have shared it with some of you – it’s an oldie but a goodie! Several years ago I had a personal breakthrough. I was having a conversation with someone about the sitcom, “Friends,” and which characters we most resemble. My answer was obvious and immediate; I am Monica. Can you imagine how not excited I might have been to realize that? But the funny thing is, it was exciting, because the realization gave me permission to say, “I’m totally Monica…” an ambitious, demanding, particular, know-it-all. Though I would love to think I am (clearly) funnier and more dynamic than Monica, it’s fairly safe to say that she and I are cut from a similar cloth.

This is who I am – take it or leave it.

The thing is, this isn’t really news; I have always known about my quirks. What changed was my choice to own them. By owning who I am, a huge chunk of self-judgement that I had been holding onto for years simply evaporated. Along with that came the awareness of how beautiful those quirks really are. Yes, I’m demanding, and even though it can be annoying it has also helped me to not settle for less. Yes, I’m particular, and even though it can be annoying it has also helped me to be very detail-oriented. Yes, I’m a know-it-all, and even though it can be annoying it has also propelled me to create a successful and fulfilling career.

Every strength is a weakness; every weakness is a strength.

None of this means that you cannot work on, temper, or change certain qualities about yourself or your life. But it does mean that you will be more successful in changing those things if you start with a clean slate by acknowledging and accepting them first. Simply look for the beauty. Each time you catch yourself judging yourself or your life, make a choice to look for the beauty and see what you find. How do these “annoying” characteristics help you? How might they be endearing, attractive, and even sexy?

As you make a practice of looking for the beauty, you will find that you are kinder to yourself. As a result, you may find the outside world to be a little kinder as well.

Have a beautiful month!
John

John Kalinowski
John Kalinowski is a Redding native based in New York. He’s an NYU-Certified Life Coach, Mindfulness Expert, Columnist, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Art-Lover, and Truth-Teller. You can connect with him on FacebookTwitterGoogle+, or visit his website at johnkalinowski.com.
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