Mistress of the Mix: Kick Him to the Curb

kick him to the curb. Definition:

1. To quit seeing him, especially if it’s a relationship or commitment involved.
2. To waive/fire him, especially in business matters.
Ex: If you catch a man cheating on you, kick him to the curb right then.

Today, we’re gonna kick that bad boyfriend to the curb.

Friends, we need to gather together to help a girl in need. A girl who needs a little support with a difficult boyfriend removal. And I’m counting on you to help me help her extract this guy like a bad tooth.

Maybe you’ve been there… involved in a relationship that’s not making you happy, isn’t fulfilling, and you’re just avoiding the drama of breaking up. Maybe the thought of putting yourself back out on the market is so depressing that instead you’re allowing yourself to continue in an unfulfilling relationship with a partner who’s selfish, flaky or catting around.

Whatever your situation, if you’ve been there, then you’ve probably had one of those moments where you’re driving home from work and a song comes on the car stereo that lets you know the radio gods are paying attention. There’s a songwriter out there who completely understands your situation, and has already come up with the perfect song just for you. And suddenly every single song you hear relates somehow to your unhealthy situation. (It’s the same way when you’re falling in love too, but we’ll save that for a future column.)

I know there’s plenty of we-broke-up-and-I’m-feeling-oh-so-sorry-for-myself songs, but let’s not go there right now. Because I don’t want my friend to feel sorry for herself. She’s better off without him. I really want her to be thankful that she had the breasticles to know she was finally really totally completely absolutely no doubt about it done with this guy. I want her to breathe a sigh of relief that she finally ended it. I want her to feel empowered that she had the strength to let it go and I want her to look forward to a new future.

That future may not have another man in it for awhile, and I want her to be okay with that. Then again, that future might plop a good man right into her life next week. If it does, I want her to have moved on past this relationship so that she’s ready to accept someone new without holding all of the transgressions of the former guy against a new one. Sometimes broken trust with one mate can ruin trust with potential future mates, and while it’s understandable, it’s an obstacle. I hope she’s able to overcome it. In fact, for all of you who have experienced a wounded heart from a relationship that soured, I hope you find the strength to leave it in the dust as you move on as quickly as possible. But if you need a little reminder that you’re better off without him (or her), I offer you this playlist:

Normally when a friend complains about their horrible relationship and how they really need to end it, I try to keep mum. I’m smart enough to know that chances are they’re just venting, and things are going to calm down. If I open my mouth and agree vehemently, when things get better between the fighting lovebirds, suddenly things are awkward between us and I’m the one who gets kicked to the curb.

But in this case, my friend asked for help. Asked for some strength during weak lonely moments. Asked me to keep reminding her why she kicked him to the curb in the first place. In this case, I’m willing to risk my friend feeling awkward if she eventually decides to take him back. I love her enough that I’m going to support her in the best way I know how: with a playlist dedicated to shedding an unhealthy relationship.

If you’ve got a song that fits the theme, please add it below!

Purchase the entire mix or individual songs on iTunes, stream the playlist on Grooveshark, or press play in the audio box at the top right of this story.

  1. Paul Simon50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
  2. Destiny’s ChildSurvivor
  3. Gloria GaynorI Will Survive
  4. Katy PerryHot N Cold
  5. Lily AllenSmile
  6. They Might Be GiantsTake Out The Trash
  7. Nancy SinatraThese Boots Are Made For Walking
  8. Ray CharlesHit The Road Jack
  9. BeyonceSingle Ladies
  10. Jo Dee MessinaBye Bye
  11. The Dixie ChicksGoodbye Earl
  12. Jo JoLeave Get Out
  13. Kelly ClarksonSince U Been Gone
  14. GarbageSpecial
  15. Ben Folds FiveSong For The Dumped
  16. Eva SimonsSilly Boy
  17. Katharine McPheeOver It
  18. BrandyAlmost Doesn’t Count
  19. Christina PerriJar Of Hearts
  20. Taylor SwiftYou’re Not Sorry
  21. Tom PettyDon’t Come Around Here No More

Valerie Ing-Miller has been the Northern California Program Coordinator for Jefferson Public Radio in Redding for nine years and can often be found serving as Mistress of Ceremonies at the Cascade Theatre. For her, ultimate satisfaction comes from a perfect segue. She’s the mother of a teenage daughter and a 7-year-old West Highland Terrier, and can’t imagine life without them or music. Valerie wakes up with a song in her head, she sings in the shower and at the top of her lungs in the car.

A News Cafe, founded in Shasta County by Redding, CA journalist Doni Greenberg, is the place for people craving local Northern California news, commentary, food, arts and entertainment. Views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of anewscafe.com.

Valerie Ing
Valerie Ing has been the Northern California Program Coordinator for Jefferson Public Radio in Redding for 14 years and can often be found serving as Mistress of Ceremonies at the Cascade Theatre. For her, ultimate satisfaction comes from a perfect segue. She and her husband are parents to a couple of college students and a pair of West Highland Terriers, and Valerie can’t imagine life without them or music. The Mistress of the Mix wakes up every day with a song in her head, she sings in the shower and at the top of her lungs in the car.
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30 Responses

  1. Avatar Polly Baker says:

    Let's see…

    Adele, for those that don't think it is played out. If repetition (and autotune) are your thing, there's always Cher. And despite its popularity at weddings, there's a certain tortured/protracted breakup song by Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston.

    In a similar, but more alternative, vein there's the Foo Fighters

    Catting Around Angle? Carrie Underwood comes to mind…

    Just not into it? Linda Ronstadt

    • Polly – I'm impressed! Seriously, I'm already kicking myself that I didn't include the Cher song because it's perfect! Not too much anger, she's moving on, believing in life after love, and it's the first time I ever heard the Auto-Tune. Seriously, great choices.

  2. Avatar rmv says:

    WOW, if i was a YOUNG MAN I might take offense to that pic?

    what would be the reaction of the WOMEN'S RIGHT'S COALITION

    if that had been a MAN kicking a WOMAN in the behind?

    REVERSE DESCRIMINATION?????????? just wondering?

    GOD BLESS AMERICA, and i REMEMBER WHEN we were

    ALL EQUAL, but no one had to show or tell us! 🙂 lol

    • I don't know RMV, the legs in the skirt look awfully muscular. . . without heads, it's kind of hard to tell, isn't it? 🙂

      The photo really simply illustrates the column in the best way I could, which is about a female friend who asked for some strength regarding a male. I know you're kidding around, but I actually thought about men thinking this was just a dude-bashing session, so I included several songs that turn the tables gender-wise in the playlist. Afterall, there are plenty of gals that need kicking to the curb too. Check out the Ben Folds number where the dumped guy wants his shirt back. And Tom Petty knows exactly where to draw the line in Don't Come Around Here No More.

      • Avatar rmv says:

        Sorry i offended Valerie,

        but not all of us asked for it, it was forced on us!

        IT DOES GO BOTH WAYS, THANK YOU FOR

        MENTIONING THAT!

        • Valerie Ing-Miller Valerie Ing-Miller says:

          Oh no offense taken. And congrats on your 49 years of lovin' on the same lucky lady. I can't top that (I have a few more years to go before I even reach 49). However, I have been happily in love for several years with the same man I was dating in the 9th grade, 31 years ago. So I'm creeping up on you!

  3. And if what he REALLY needs is "A Stupid Woman," I suggest this song.

  4. Barbara Rice Barbara Rice says:

    "Quitting Time" by the Roches. It got me through one of the worst disasters of my life.

  5. Avatar amber asaro says:

    No post-break up rally would be complete without The Monkees 'I'm Not Your Stepping Stone'.

  6. Avatar Steve Fischer says:

    A few you might want to add —

    J. Geils Band: "Love Stinks"

    Sammy Hagar: Dick In The Dirt"

    Eileen Feather: "You're Outa Here"

    …and for a really obscure one:

    Genya Ravan: I Won't Sleep On The Wet Spot No More"

    I have all of them if you don't…

  7. Avatar sandi says:

    Valerie,

    I absolutely love your contribution to anewscafe.com! I look forward to "Mistress of the Mix" and was just thinking yesterday that it had been a while. Your music picks never fail to entertain me. Thank you!! Sandi

  8. Valerie Ing-Miller Valerie Ing-Miller says:

    What's apparent to me right now is that there are a LOT of great breakin' up and movin' on songs, and they're all so fabulous! Great suggestions, folks. And thanks, Sandi! I am to entertain!

  9. Avatar JayPee says:

    Although, in "Hey Eugene", by Pink Martini, it appears that Eugene dumped Ms China Forbes, she did give a little kick to his behind by publishing his antics in a popular song.

    • Valerie Ing-Miller Valerie Ing-Miller says:

      Hey there JP, you know I love that song! I'm saving that one for another upcoming column that's still up my sleeve for now! I bet that guy's still kicking himself for not calling her the next day!

  10. Avatar Joanne Lobeski Snyde says:

    Bonnie Raitt's song "I can't make you love me" rends my heart. I suppose this is not a "kick to the curb" song, but a "bravely move on with a heavy heart" song. sigh….

    • Another perfect song for this playlist. Because that was the intent…songs to move on by. True story: Many years ago when living in Alaska, I DJ'd a lot of weddings. At one, the bride & groom chose that Bonnie Raitt song as their first dance. I couldn't talk them out of it, and always thought it was an extremely odd choice for a wedding dance. But perhaps they found different meaning in the words, or just loved the melody and didn't care about the lyrics.

  11. Avatar Terry says:

    I love the idea of a kick that person to the curb song list for encouragement in tough times!

    Besides "Before he cheats" with Carrie Underwood,

    I enjoy Reba's "Turn on the Radio". 🙂

    I found it on YouTube:

    <iframe width="400" height="257" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KF1dQgE8BmE&quot; frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

  12. Dugan Barr Dugan Barr says:

    Couple of others that would fit, both done by Hot

  13. Marilyn Traugott Marilyn Traugott says:

    Paul Thorn writes some great lyrics and this song fits the topic well: "If I Can Get Over Her (I Can Get Over You)."

  14. Dugan Barr Dugan Barr says:

    Maralyn beat my time. I was going to post about Paul Thorn, but my iPad went on strike and sent the fragment above.

    Also Hot Club of Cow Town does a couple of beauties (and if you are not familiar with them, you should be – they burned down the Sisters Folk Festival last year)

    "I had someone else before I had you" (and I'll have someone after you're gone) and "Forget-Me Nots"

    There are a couple of C&W ones for the guys:

    "How can I miss you if you won't go away"

    "Thank God and Greyhound, she's gone"

    Mary Flowers does a great job of "The Blues my Naughty Sweetie Gives to Me".

    Jessee Fuller does "Crazy about a woman lives in my neighborhood"

    There is the old blues tune "Payday" (Gonna take you to your mamma payday)

    Then there are several by Chris Smither "Get a better one" is how to find a solution to a series of failed relationships. "Lola" is about some poor so and so who is head over heels with a Sociopath. "She said the love ain't cheap, but the pain is free. I said but that sounds good to me."

  15. More great suggestions! Paul Thorn – now there's a guy who needs to come back to the Cascade Theatre and do his own show instead of opening for somebody else. He's hilarious and talented! Also, Dugan – Lola sounds perfect for a future column I'm putting together called "And you thought your relationship has problems?" When I was putting together this column I had a whole side group of songs about unhealthy relationships that are still limping along.

  16. Avatar Leona says:

    May I suggest, Chris Isaak – Move Along.

      • Val, your playlist is my background music as I work this a.m.

        Golly, what a great topic today. Your music selections are terrific.

        I love your column and am so glad you're here. What a great addition to anewscafe.com. (Special thanks to ANC webtender Jeff Gore for putting those songs in a nice little package. I love that, too.)

        Back to work for me. Thanks, again, Val.

        • Valerie Ing-Miller Valerie Ing-Miller says:

          Thanks for the sweet compliment, Doni. I love what Jeff did too, I think it makes it even easier for people to stream the playlist. GO, Jeff!!!

          By the way, I've had more than one person contact me this week asking if this column was about me. It's not… although I had my boyfriend worried for a moment when he first read it.

  17. Avatar Marsha says:

    Hi Valerie!

    IMHO, your article rang true. And also included that, of course, everyone's situation is different. While digesting all this, I found Tom Petty's, "Don't Come Around Here Nomore". It seemed icing on the cake, I recalled that song!

    Clicking on the link attached sent me to a buy, buy, buy site. As I quickly exited to make a comment, I was genuinely surprised that your web team "allowed" me to come back to the original page…I know it takes more than honest intent and effort …it just made me have a sinking feeling like, "Brought to you by Nabisco!"