Dancing countdown: 1 day – @?!*#!

I cannot believe I will be on the Cascade Theatre stage tomorrow night.

Ding. Time’s up. I have only one more day to practice. The dress rehearsal doesn’t count. That’s a run-through.

I’m not nervous.

I’m freaked!

Or maybe that’s the wrong word. Here’s a better one: Unprepared.

I think I could pull this off if I just had another week of practice. I’m just now getting the hang of it.

I found two dresses (Ross’ Dress for Less) that I hope will work. They have to.

I have my new tan dance shoes, and an expensive underdealy called Spanx that basically keeps everything contained.

Someone will do my makeup, and even add things called “blinkers” – which, apparently, are eyelashes. Someone else will do my hair, and I feel very sorry for her because I’ve turned into quite the head-sweater since I started dance practice. Like Pavlov’s dance partner, my head starts squirting liquid the moment I walk through the YMCA doors.

I’m cramming and practicing my dance moves every chance I get. I watch the videos I made of Jake showing me our moves, in slow motion. I read his detailed dance notes.

I know that no other “star” dancer needs such special help to learn these moves, and I truly appreciate him for being such a great sport.

I owe ya, man.

What can I say except those of you who attend the Dancing With The Stars – Shasta County Style event are in for quite a show. It starts at 7 p.m. and goes to about 10 p.m. I believe a few tickets remain, but I’m not sure. (It’s open seating, so get there early to choose your favorite spot.)

Since I know you hate to hear me speak a discouraging word about my dancing, let me just say I’m sure it will be interesting.

Aside from practicing dance steps, the one other thing I must work on before Saturday is breaking a bad habit I’ve developed of cursing when I mess up.

To quote Matt Armstrong, one of the professional dancers (and Tracy Edwards’ partner – and oh my gosh, do they look great!): “Remember, this is a family show.”

I’m screwed.

Meanwhile, I will remind myself to do my best to have fun and put the whole thing in perspective.

After all, it’s not cancer.

It’s not a fire.

It’s two dances on stage to raise money for some great community causes.

I’ve said all along that I’m not a dancer. But come Saturday, I’ll be all dressed up, on stage at the Cascade Theatre with my dance partner.

I guess that makes me dancer.

Even if it’s just for one night.

In the meantime, enjoy these photos of Wednesday night’s practice, by Mike Burke.