Last month I walked in the kitchen just as Bruce laughed and hung up the phone. He said I’d just missed the most incredible call, one he’d wished I’d answered. He said a young woman called to invite us to subscribe to the Record Searchlight. He said they had a long conversation, that began with him saying, “Are you kidding?” – but in the end, Bruce explained why no, we would not be subscribing.
“Uh, this is awkward,” she said. Â
A few days ago I got a similar call from a nice guy, charged with the difficult duty of calling former Record Searchlight subscribers and convincing them to restart their long-lost subscriptions. He sweetened the deal with a limited-time offer: just $1.44 per week. I asked the location of his call center. Arizona, he said.
Lovely. The RS even outsources low-wage call center jobs. Â
“We’d like to have you back as a subscriber,” he said, quite earnestly.
When I stopped laughing, I said that was not going to happen.Â
But first, we had a nice talk.  I told him why I wouldn’t return as a subscriber. He said he understood.
Then I asked how sales were going. He said not very well.
“It was a lot better in the past,” he said.
Ya think?
I said don’t take this personally, but no call-center person would ever convince the Greenbergs to return as loyal Record Searchlight customers. And as entertaining as we’d find these calls, they are a complete waste of everyone’s time.
Mr. Arizona reluctantly suggested a solution.
“They don’t like us to tell people this, but you can ask for your name to be put on a do not call list,” he said.
“Then add my name to that list,” I said.
“It’ll take 72 hours before it goes into effect,” he said.
“I can live with it,” I said.
As we hung up, I felt for the guy, who’s first name I won’t mention so he isn’t canned for being so honest and forthcoming.
Let’s just hope he’s not working on commission.
