Thank goodness for that poster on the wall of a teeny-tiny Mexican restaurant in Arcata, Hey Juan Burritos (really delicious food, reasonably priced – did I mention very tiny space), or we would have missed Day One of the Kinetic Grand Championship. We’d stopped by Arcata Friday night on our way to our friends’ house in McKinleyville for the weekend.
The poster advertised an annual event set to start the next day, something we’d always wanted to check out: the Kinetic Grand Championship. This year marked the race’s 40-year anniversary. (Click here for the race’s history.)
Actually, for years it was known as the Kinetic Sculpture Race, but we knew this was the same three-day course along Northern California’s coastline that wound from Arcata to Ferndale.
For the purpose of this race, kinetic sculptures are defined as human-powered, all-terrain artistic creations that race over dirt, roads, mud, sand and water. The “racers” – using that term loosely – compete not for money, nor even for proceeds to benefit some worthy cause.
Why do they do it, you might ask? Why, for the glory, of course. But really, it’s done for the fun of it, and that attitude sets the tone for the entire event,
Even so, as hilarious and as silly as many of the sculptures were (a giant skunk, a Tiki Bar, a Pandora’s box, a huge fish with spikey incisors, Hippy-potamus, faux-bare-bottomed participants, etc.) there was nothing silly about three days of arduous milestones: Up Hookton Hill, down Cannibal Island Road, down Dead Man’s Bluff, then float down Eel River and emerge at Morgon Slough.
Plus, the race had some rules, such as:
•Everyone must have fun. Those who become grumpy may declare “diplomatic immunity” since they’re surely from another planet.
•Sculptures must be people-powered, though it’s OK to get a little extra help from Mother Nature (wind, etc.)
•Sculptures cannot be wider than 8 feet, and no higher than 14 feet.
• No sculptures can be dangerous. (Made me wonder about the fire-breathing dragon.)
• All sculptures must have over-night supplies, such as sleeping bags, for each pilot.
• All pilots must sleep within spitting distance of their sculptures.
We learned these things and more on Saturday when Bruce, I, our two Humboldt County friends and about 10,000 other people crammed along Arcata’s Plaza for the start of the Kinetic Grand Championship – ‘Triathlon of the Art World’ event.
We watched the brake check, referred to by the emcees as the “Pageantry and Bribery” segment of the race that began with an unorthodox sobriety check point. After that, each massive sculpture – powered by wildly pedaling humans – barreled down the slightly sloped street, then stopped – or tried to stop – at the sound of a judge’s whistle – sometimes literally “on a dime” – provided after the fact by one of the pit crew members.
The humongous sculptures included the Man-Eating Clam, Dow Jones Wild Ride and ginormous wooden picnic basket, complete with ants and roving bears, that rolled through the streets of Arcata as some spectators even watched from atop buildings. Did those people have a death wish, or what?
Some of my personal favorite sculptures included the fire-breathing dragon, created from all kinds of light-weight recycled materials like muffin tins, pie tins and hub caps. And although it took the crowd a moment to recognize the intended meaning behind the sculpture of a woman/octopus creature with a baby doll in each tentacle, the audience let out a collective groan as it dawned upon them. Of course. Octomom
An emcee announced that in the event of inclement sunshine, the race would go on. Sculptures ranged from simple boats with wheels underneath, to complex feats of engineering such as the dog whose mouth opened and closed, and when the dog stopped moving, it lifted its leg and took a leak, just inches from the crowd.
Only in Humboldt County. Color. Fun. And lots of imagination.
Here’s the brake check video, below. Listen for the whistle, and watch to see how quickly the sculptures stop.
And below you’ll see the video of the pre-race parade around the plaza.
Finally, here’s the slide show, to Imagine, by John Lennon.
You may say they are dreamers. But then, you really had to be there to believe it.
Maybe next year.
