• Whether driving a car, or negotiating with a horrible company in an attempt to return a cheap purse to China, never back up any more than you absolutely have to. You’ll regret it otherwise.
• There’s trouble on that two-block stretch of three lanes along California between Shasta and Tehama streets. Some people driving south sometimes think there’s an extra left turn lane, when really there are two sound-bound lanes and one northbound lane. Three times I’ve seen cars sitting there, pointing south in that northbound lane, waiting to turn left onto Tehama. Each time, I cross my fingers that another car heading east on Tehama doesn’t make a legal left turn onto California because there’d be a head-on collision.
• Speaking of Tehama Street, we can tell if you’re new here by how you pronounce a few words. Tehama gets a long a, so it’s TeHAYma, not TeHAMa, while Placer gets a short a, like apple, not like, well, place.
• I can plant something, water it and fertilize it and it still dies. On the other hand, lush grasses grow with abandon in my rock pile. It’s not fair.
• When I am buried by multiple messages in a Facebook group conversation that I flee to escape, this message pops up when I choose to opt out, something that borders on a threat:
So? Is that supposed to make me think twice and change my mind and want to stay? Never.
• Some of my best inspirations come to me as I’m falling asleep or waking up. The easy part is keeping pen and paper at my nightstand, at the ready.
The difficult part is deciphering what I’ve written. I used to keep a tape recorder (remember those?) by my bed to record my dreams. Come morning, when I’d hit playback, I’d hear a drunken sounding voice speaking absolute gibberish.
• Have you ever noticed that when little kids name a pet, they almost always choose names that are descriptively obvious, and end in ie or y? Blackie or Whitey or Fluffy? Case in point, I have two little hummingbirds that visit my feeder. My grandkids have named them Brownie and Greenie.
• Oh, the ups and downs of living in Redding. The up was leaving Riverfront Playhouse after seeing “Of Mice and Men” – a moving, expertly directed and performed play. The down side was walking out to the parking lot, looking over a back fence to a nearby porch and seeing a Confederate flag flapping in the wind.
• Some things I’ve relearned this month about assumptions and mind-reading: Sometimes, if someone doesn’t return my call, it’s not that they’re blowing me off, but that they died or had a stroke. Sometimes, if someone doesn’t return my text, it’s not that he’s ignoring me, but that he accidentally left his cell phone in the rental car.
• I used to laugh about my methods for getting rid of a Jehovah Witness at my door, until I became friends with a Jehovah Witness. Game-changer.
• One of my passive workout techniques: Avoid using my hands to assist myself to rise from a seated position.
• I love texting, but I love audio texting even more. However, I must not enunciate very well, though, because I’m shocked at how badly my phone interprets what I’ve said, even while completely sober. Luckily, people closest to me don’t judge the audio errors, such as when “guest” routinely turns into “gas”. Also, I’ve been audio texting so long that sometimes, when I’m leaving a voicemail message, if I’m not paying attention or if I’m sleepy, I find myself throwing in “comma” and “period” and “happy face”. So embarrassing. (Exclamation point. Sad face.)
• Another audio texting frustration: Hitting record and talking, talking, talking “period”. Only to look down and find an empty screen, and having to start all over. Dang!
• Speaking of phones, I hate to admit it, but I’m really not a fan of talking on the phone. Never have been. It’s really a bummer because more and more friends and loved ones are leaving Redding. That leaves emails and texting. I may have to resort to snail mail again.
• Knitting wisdom: Don’t quit working in the middle of a row. Finish the row. Then put down your work so when you return, you know exactly where you are when you begin again.
• Just because the little green circle light is lighted up on Facebook page doesn’t mean I’m on Facebook, or home, or on the computer, or even awake. It just means I opened a tab for Facebook, and left it open. Maybe for hours.
• I’ve lived alone for almost 10 years now, but I still catch myself putting my name on a file folder: “Doni’s Medical” or on a favorite object: “Doni’s scissors”… as if there’s someone else in the home.
• When I’m throwing a party or having guests over, the guests I love the most are those who are a tad late, and if they bring food that requires no further preparation, and if they bring flowers that don’t require me to climb on a step stool and fetch a vase. Do I sound like a bitch to say that? Maybe. Oh well.
• I work from home and I’ve finally learned that it’s best for me to get up and get dressed asap, because otherwise, if I get stuck on my computer, the day zooms by and the next time I look up it’s 3 p.m. and I’m still in my pajamas, which depresses the hell out of me. Plus, there’s a high probability that the day I stay in my pajamas until Happy Hour is the day that someone pops by unexpectedly.
• Which reminds me, would I sound like a horrible person if I said that I’m not a fan of unexpected company, unless it’s FTD, UPS or FedEx?
• Whoever said, “Time flies while you’re having fun” must not be a regular tax-filing procrastinator. (See messy note, above.)
