Reflections In The Mirror (While Shaving) #34

• The most linear thought I have takes a circuitous route.

• Ever have the feeling that some thoughts are almost worth keeping … those that make the grade and can be let out in public … others are so mediocre, they aren’t worth the effort to discard … I used to blame my bad ideas on my mother but I’ve matured some so I now blame the sub-standard educational system.

• Talking to myself is the only thing that keeps me sane. This may be a bit of a slippery slope but circuitously speaking, it sorta makes sense…

• Same question with every checkup…”how much do you drink?”… same answer for many years …”two glasses of wine per day”… someday, the doctor and I are going to discuss the increasing size of those glasses, but for now we are content with continuity.

• A smirk is a black-sheep smile …what?

• Your lousy attitude is no match for my brilliant perspective …

• Checked my new, auto-update to-do list … only 8 1/2 months until Christmas.

• My new auto-wine opener is performing better … only three broken corks last week … the wine seems a little corky but after my allotted two glasses, I don’t care.

• The mirror asks why I write incessantly about wine, weight, food, hair and attitude … is there something else? Ok Bud, I’ll give it try.

• First of all mirror, let me adjust my hand (fingers) (finger) so you can see me better.

• A portly man, with wisps of red hair, did all the cooking for his family while drinking cheap wine … dammit … put me back in coach, I can do better.

• Let me try it this way … a skinny, long-haired, Type-A, drunk … I’m thinking … I’m thinking.

• A duck walks into a bar

• I think I’m beginning to spin out of orbit, so let me get serious for a moment … thank you, I feel less “spinned”.

• I recently spent time explaining the “Law of Diminishing Returns” … no mirror, why is unimportant… since I was an economic major in college. I was appalled at my inability to describe it succinctly (got to look that word up someday) … I blame the sub-standard educational system, ah hell, throw my mother in there, too.

Doug Mudford is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, 530.243.8008. Send questions for “That Lawyer Guy” to

Doug Mudford’s photo illustration by Michael Burke of Redding.

Doug Mudford
is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, (530) 243-8008, or
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6 Responses

  1. Avatar Eleanor Townsend says:

    Thank goodness! Way to save the day already by reading this column first thing (after getting coffee)!

    Good morning, Doug. Glad to see you (in the mirror)

  2. Avatar `AJacoby says:

    How succinct of you to sum up the entire column with that first sentence!

  3. Avatar joanne gifford says:

    Your columm always brightens my day.Thanks

  4. Avatar Doug Mudford says:

    Thank you Joanne… for you to take the time to comment brightens mine.