Dear J:
Say you’re at a party, and you’re deep in a conversation with someone. Suddenly another person walks up and stands there, obviously wanting to start a new conversation. You like both people. What’s the most polite, considerate way to handle this situation so the first person doesn’t feel bumped, while the second person doesn’t feel rejected?
Signed, Torn
Your sensitivity is admirable, but one must question the wisdom (or good manners) of falling into a deep conversation at a party.
It’s taken me years to get a grip on this one, because doesn’t everyone enjoy a deep conversation with someone you haven’t seen all year?
Having been on all sides of this one, I suggest that you just take a breath and yank the third party in. Like this: “Do join us, we’ll do intros later, but we were just revisiting the alienation of our respective siblings…” The new person can be part of your discussion as it winds down, and you can regroup around a new topic.
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