Note from Doni: Val’s computer was having some major issues, so much so that her Friday column wasn’t going to happen. She gave me permission to select a “best of” column from her archives. Goodie! I chose this column: “Kick him to the curb” originally published on Aug. 12, 2011. Enjoy!
kick him to the curb. Definition:
1. To quit seeing him, especially if it’s a relationship or commitment involved.
2. To waive/fire him, especially in business matters.
Ex: If you catch a man cheating on you, kick him to the curb right then.
Today, we’re gonna kick that bad boyfriend to the curb.
Friends, we need to gather together to help a girl in need. A girl who needs a little support with a difficult boyfriend removal. And I’m counting on you to help me help her extract this guy like a bad tooth.
Maybe you’ve been there… involved in a relationship that’s not making you happy, isn’t fulfilling, and you’re just avoiding the drama of breaking up. Maybe the thought of putting yourself back out on the market is so depressing that instead you’re allowing yourself to continue in an unfulfilling relationship with a partner who’s selfish, flaky or catting around.
Whatever your situation, if you’ve been there, then you’ve probably had one of those moments where you’re driving home from work and a song comes on the car stereo that lets you know the radio gods are paying attention. There’s a songwriter out there who completely understands your situation, and has already come up with the perfect song just for you. And suddenly every single song you hear relates somehow to your unhealthy situation. (It’s the same way when you’re falling in love too, but we’ll save that for a future column.)
I know there’s plenty of we-broke-up-and-I’m-feeling-oh-so-sorry-for-myself songs, but let’s not go there right now. Because I don’t want my friend to feel sorry for herself. She’s better off without him. I really want her to be thankful that she had the breasticles to know she was finally really totally completely absolutely no doubt about it done with this guy. I want her to breathe a sigh of relief that she finally ended it. I want her to feel empowered that she had the strength to let it go and I want her to look forward to a new future.
That future may not have another man in it for awhile, and I want her to be okay with that. Then again, that future might plop a good man right into her life next week. If it does, I want her to have moved on past this relationship so that she’s ready to accept someone new without holding all of the transgressions of the former guy against a new one. Sometimes broken trust with one mate can ruin trust with potential future mates, and while it’s understandable, it’s an obstacle. I hope she’s able to overcome it. In fact, for all of you who have experienced a wounded heart from a relationship that soured, I hope you find the strength to leave it in the dust as you move on as quickly as possible. But if you need a little reminder that you’re better off without him (or her), I offer you this playlist.
Normally when a friend complains about their horrible relationship and how they really need to end it, I try to keep mum. I’m smart enough to know that chances are they’re just venting, and things are going to calm down. If I open my mouth and agree vehemently, when things get better between the fighting lovebirds, suddenly things are awkward between us and I’m the one who gets kicked to the curb.
But in this case, my friend asked for help. Asked for some strength during weak lonely moments. Asked me to keep reminding her why she kicked him to the curb in the first place. In this case, I’m willing to risk my friend feeling awkward if she eventually decides to take him back. I love her enough that I’m going to support her in the best way I know how: with a playlist dedicated to shedding an unhealthy relationship.
If you’ve got a song that fits the theme, please add it below!
- Paul Simon – 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
- Destiny’s Child – Survivor
- Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
- Katy Perry – Hot N Cold
- Lily Allen – Smile
- They Might Be Giants – Take Out The Trash
- Nancy Sinatra – These Boots Are Made For Walking
- Ray Charles – Hit The Road Jack
- Beyonce – Single Ladies
- Jo Dee Messina – Bye Bye
- The Dixie Chicks – Goodbye Earl
- Jo Jo – Leave Get Out
- Kelly Clarkson – Since U Been Gone
- Garbage – Special
- Ben Folds Five – Song For The Dumped
- Eva Simons – Silly Boy
- Katharine McPhee – Over It
- Brandy – Almost Doesn’t Count
- Christina Perri – Jar Of Hearts
- Taylor Swift – You’re Not Sorry
- Tom Petty – Don’t Come Around Here No More
Valerie Ing-Miller has been the Northern California Program Coordinator for Jefferson Public Radio in Redding for nine years and can often be found serving as Mistress of Ceremonies at the Cascade Theatre. For her, ultimate satisfaction comes from a perfect segue. She’s the mother of a teenage daughter and a 7-year-old West Highland Terrier, and can’t imagine life without them or music. Valerie wakes up with a song in her head, she sings in the shower and at the top of her lungs in the car.
A News Cafe, founded in Shasta County by Redding, CA journalist Doni Greenberg, is the place for people craving local Northern California news, commentary, food, arts and entertainment. Views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of anewscafe.com.