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At the time of this writing, The Dude was getting ready to jump in the car, gas up and head with his amazing girlfriend down to catch Lady Gaga perform in Sacramento. I’m not going to lie – The Dude is goo-goo for Gaga. He’s also goo-goo for his compatriots’ questions, dilemmas, ponderings and relationship goings on:
Dude, my buddy’s like 30, lost his job, then his girlfriend, and now lives in his mom’s garage and smokes pot all day. He’s a living stereotype … how do I slap him out of it?
-I’m With Stupid
Here’s the thing: your friend’s 30. News flash – that’s the age of a grown up. It’s nice that you want your friend to step up, grow up and stop living the weed-addled life of a high school dropout, but he’s a big boy and needs to figure it out himself. Say it once, bluntly, then leave it be. But don’t expect to see a change until he’s ready. If you want to stick around until then, power to you.
I was in the shower when my girlfriend came in [to the bathroom] and went pee. I never thought it would be that big of a deal, but I just don’t feel comfortable with it just yet. Am I a wussy for feeling like we’re not at that stage of the relationship?
My first question is: Have you two slept together? My guess is yes, and in that case, yes, you’re being a wussy. It’s kind of hard for a grown man to complain about privacy after you’ve invaded each others’. Second question: What annoyed you – her coming in, or what she did in there? Here’s a piece of advice for each. 1.) You can lock the door if you want to be alone. It’s not. That. Difficult. 2.) Get used to it.
I have two best friends, both of them are married women. How do I let their husbands know I am not going to intrude and am not a threat?
Two choices here, Captain. 1) Start doing things with them as couples – no man, especially a married man, will never, ever, nevereverever believe you are not a threat. So my personal opinion is on choice No. 2), Go get new friends and stop lying to yourself. Married women are not your best platonic friends – they’re an excuse for you to avoid dealing with your other relationship issues. If you don’t know what issues I’m talking about, well, that’s where you need to start looking.
Dude Wisdom is a column written by a guy from town. This column aims to flip the traditional advice column on its head, spin it around a few times, then knock it over with a roundhouse kick. Find The Dude on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/DudeWise or email your relationship quandaries to email@example.com. Remember, this Dude abides.
Check out Lady Gaga’s live Google video interview.
A News Cafe, founded in Shasta County by Redding, CA journalist Doni Greenberg, is the place for people craving local Northern California news, commentary, food, arts and entertainment. Views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of anewscafe.com.