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6 Responses

  1. Avatar Troy Hawkins says:

    This week is all about my younger sister Tori. Tori turns 40 on the 25th and to honor this momentous occasion this week's questions will have to do with age, coming of age and reflections about age.

    Happy Birthday, Sissy.

    Tori and I have had many rivalries over the years. Toys, friends, cars, etc. However, as with most siblings, our main rivalry was over parents. Tori always had my father and I always had my mother. Yes, I'm a mama's boy. There was never an obvious yours and mine but just who we related to easier and who enjoyed the same activities we did.

    With my dad's death almost 3 years ago, the rivalry changed. I lost my father. Tori not only lost her father but also her very best friend. The relationship between us has grown stronger and we now share a single parent. We tease one another about whom Mom likes more, taunting each other with "I mowed the lawn, she loves me best," knowing all along she'd give her life to save either of us. Unconditionally we are loved.

    But I'm still the favorite.

  2. Avatar Lachlan says:

    Troy,

    Thanks for raising the topic! I posted a response on Fb!

  3. Avatar Grammalyn says:

    I have no siblings, and that was always very difficult for me. While I have met many people who enjoyed being an only child, I often felt sad and lonely. I think my imagination and creativity came from finding activities to play alone, which has been of great benefit. I never have difficulty keeping myself entertained, which I'm sure is learned from my childhood.

    Love the thought provoking questions, Troy.

  4. Avatar Barbara Stone says:

    I have to say, I never felt any sibling rivalry among my 3 brothers and one sister. My mom had the very unique gift for making each of her 5 kids and grandkids feel like they were her favorite! I first mentioned this at her memorial service last year and it got a good chuckle from all of the above.

  5. Avatar Toni says:

    I am the oldest of three kids. My brother is 11 months younger than me and my sister is 4 years younger. I don't think we ever really had any rivalry but as is ty[ical of gilrs I matured faster and seemed more coordinated than my brother, so for years I could out-run, out-shoot, out-wrestle, out-do him in many things physical. I think that always made him feel "less than' in my father's eyes though I don't think my dad really cared. My sister was always just cute and precious. Now they are both my best friends.

    Some of the "family-at-large" live in Dysfunction City so to help us get through the holidays we have a little contest. We get together in January to compare family drama stories and the one with the BEST story (the highest degree of dysfunction) wins! We love it!

  6. Avatar Lachlan says:

    Troy,

    While I don't sense a question in your post, it sure hits home for me. I am the younger of two. My sister's biological father died before I was born, so understandably, she was determined (unconsciously) to be momma's girl and I was left as daddy's boy.

    But the dynamic was exacerbated when my dad left during my adolescence. He didn't just leave the house, but the country…. See More

    Sister was allowed into my mom's grieving process, while I was shut out. I now know that was because of age more than anything- Sis is five years older than me- but back then I thought that my sister had won some unspoken competition.

    Ever since, my relationship with my sister has been shaded with anger. It took me nearly thirty years to realize the jealousy was coming from my side, so insidiously had it grown inside of me.

    For the past three years, I have been on a remarkable journey of personal growth. As part of that trek, I have moved to Redding where my father eventually settled, and began seeing him weekly. I also have been blessed with new insight into my relationships with my mom and sister.

    Much work lies ahead of me: I need to remove obstacles that I laid in my own heart in order to become closer to these two wonderful women again. But it is a task that I approach with joy and hope.

    Thanks for raising the topic!