Thursday’s Sketchbook

jan2909

A random page from the sketchbook… I don’t remember what it was all about, probably just wanted to use a pencil again.

Name That Toon

Well, once again, you the reader have surpassed in both wit and imagination my clumsy attempts to name this cartoon/column. So clever, in fact, that I’m thinking I’ll just go take a nap and you wiseguys can write this schlock all by your lonesome. I’ll check in from time to time and see how you’re doing. I’m sure you’re cheaper than Mr. Jinx, and probably smell better too. Well, most of you probably smell better. I was generalizing. Sorry. Still, what do you need me for? Go ahead, you know where the “comments” button is. Wake me for the UCLA-Cal game.

You guys did come up with some great ideas, though. Really good, and we’ll unveil the new page very soon and you’ll see which moniker got slapped onto this pig. Note: Pig slapping is illegal in most parts of Shasta County. I do not , nor does A News Café dot com, condone the use of corporal punishment on any barnyard inhabitants, although goat taunting is allowed under stringent guidelines (please refer to Cousin Sissy Haffacres Livestock Etiquette, Farmways Publishing, © 1938. We stand behind Sissy’s judgement on these matters.)

Uncle Philbert’s Wisdom & Sage Advice

Never use too much sage.

Never make toast in the bathtub. Nobody likes soggy toast.

Always chew your food 32 times, especially the pudding.

Although you are encouraged to chew 32 times, try to only swallow once.

Pummel horse is not a directive. (See barnyard etiquette above.)

So kids, that’ll do it for me until the ‘morrow. Thanks, and slow down…you’re driving too fast.

Phil Fountain

Phil Fountain is a pseudonym for ANC’s prodigal cartoonist, Philbert Phountain, who has recently returned from a working hiatus where he served as the lead fact-checker for George Santos. He lives in Shasta County with his long-suffering wife, Christine, as well as a variety of layabouts and urchins who claim to be his progeny … including three grandchildren. He busies himself with his crayons and obsessing over the fate of his favorite baseball team while a small dog sleeps under his desk. He’s actually not such a bad guy as evidenced by the fact the dog rarely bites him anymore. Look for his crudely rendered drawings in future posts on A News Café.