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Dear Gum Tree, This letter is to inform you that I am in contact with the crack legal team of Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga & McCormick in regard to your recent vicious attack on my person. I have no doubt the knowledge of having an outfit like Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga & McCormick on the case is enough to make your sap run cold and set your branches to quivering. It’s no less than you deserve. I’ll tell you why. On or about Monday, January 12th, 2008 Anno Domini, you did willfully and wantonly, with malice aforethought leave your spiky little balls on the sidewalk on or around the intersection of Shasta & Market, thus causing yours truly to step on your balls, which launched me on a series of aerial maneuvers eventually resulting in my succumbing to the laws of gravity and hitting the cold, cold ground…hard. Yes, that was a run-on sentence, which is better than the kind of sentence in store for you when Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga, Hoongadoonga & McCormick get a hold of you. (See how tough these guys are? They’ve added another Hoongadoonga since I started this letter!) I’ve given you fair warning, you stationary housing project for dirty birds, which is far more than you gave me. You haven’t heard the last of this! Limpingly, Philbert D. Cartoonist, Esq. mj/pf |
