You know, folks, I don’t think I’ve been inflicting enough damage here on A News Café. In fact, I resolve to post a sketch a day until I bring this website to its quivering cyber-knees. I’m just the guy who can do it, too.
You see what I managed to do to the poor, old Record Searchlight, didn’t you? Shoot, you can pretty much cite the drop in circulation to the appearance of my cartoons on their hallowed pages. If you saw the timeline of their declining readership compared to the dates a cartoon was published, well, it’s just uncanny. I saw the charts myself: They were made into a PowerPoint presentation and projected on the wall during my exit interview. I know I should have felt bad, but a part of me was secretly giggling (I won’t tell you which part), and I was perversely kinda proud of myself.
To get the ball rolling, and to prove my point, here’s the first sketch …
OK, why do you think they call them “gags”? I’d apologize, but you’re all old enough to know better.
So, if I were you, I’d get an office pool going to see how long it takes before:
A. I frighten the advertisers right back to The Nickel.
B. The FCC steps in and blocks my IP address (forcing me to post from the library’s computers).
C. Doni and/or Kelly actually SEES one of my entries and takes appropriate steps.
D. The cold medicine wears off and I curl up under my desk to nap, eventually forgetting the whole “sketch a day” thing.
Wait. Did you hear that? It sounds a little like A News Café crashing into a big, smoking heap.
My work here is done … for today anyway.
Phil “Philbert” Fountain is telling everyone he’s the “Staff Cartoonist” for A News Café. This situation may correct itself.
