Researchers say people who fall asleep during rainstorms are twice as likely to have a wet dream as those who sleep indoors.

Scientists are trying to develop a car that can travel at the speed of light using alternative fuels, so far, without much success. “We’ve been going at this the wrong way,” said Dr. Fumar Bunson of Wattsamatta U, “Perhaps we would do better to make the car faster rather than attempting to slow down light.”

E. Hardy Boyle, a deaf man, was found dead recently in a friend’s closet where he had been hiding since 1987. It seems Mr. Boyle had been invited to a “surprise party” and did not hear the other party goers shout, “Surprise!” from his hiding spot when the guest of honor arrived. “We forgot he was in there,” said Mickey Whizwiki, whose house was the site of the party. “Hardy was a very congenial fellow and would have gone to great lengths to make sure he didn’t ruin a surprise. I wish we had noticed a little sooner.” The cause of Mr. Boyle’s death is being investigated, although the general consensus is that he starved to death. “Ironic, isn’t it? I mean, we had cake,” said Whizwiki.

Tree frogs are not really made from trees. Well, the carved ones they sell at Brazilian souvenir shops are, but they’re the only ones. Just an fyi.

Pachyderms sleep in the rain. Researchers suggest you not attempt to mount one during monsoon season (see Phactoid #1)

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