Robert’s Reviews: Robert’s Worst Films of 2017

Hello Clever People! Welcome to my run down for what I believe to be the worst films of 2017. If you want to stay free of some extremely terrible films, make sure you watch this so you never have to see them. Click the video below to watch!

Robert Burke
Robert Burke is a 14-year-old film critic currently attending Shasta High School. His love for film started when he was very young, and grows as he learns more and more about it. Robert expresses his love for film through reviews, which can be found on this website every Saturday. Film is not his only passion, as he also loves to act in local productions with Cascade Theater, Shasta College and Riverfront Playhouse. He currently lives in Redding, CA, and hopes to one day be a film director. To view all of Robert’s reviews go to
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5 Responses

  1. Beverly Stafford says:

    None of the movies you ranted about would have been on my radar. We tried to watch the first Despicable Me, gave up after about 15 minutes, and wonder why in the world there have been sequels. Glad you agree. Thanks for the heads up so that we won’t waste a couple of hours an any of these.

  2. Robert, Great job. My wife and I go to 3-4 movies a month and didn’t see any of these, except one, because I do research on IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, and Cinemascore to narrow down our selections. We did see Bright on Netflix and I have to agree it was kind of stupid.

    Since you watch and review so many movies does Cinemark give you a break on ticket prices or free passes? I hope they do.

  3. Robert, I usually play your reviews on Saturday, when we post it. I just got to it today. I have to say, this is my favorite of all your reviews, because you are so hopped up and passionate, and you give such great reasons for why you hated these movies. I know you didn’t mean for this to be funny, but I laughed out loud a few times.

    You are brilliant and funny and deep and informed. Thank you for this column and these reviews. You make the site a more interesting, entertaining place. We appreciate you so much.

  4. Tim says:

    “Vin Diesel sleeps with like 9 women even though he is like 55…” — LOL

    Robert, this might blow your mind:

    I agree with 20 of your 21 picks, but I don’t think Bright was *that* bad. It wasn’t a good movie, but I don’t think it is fair to knock an action movie too much for cheesy dialogue and a lack of subtlety (after all, how many people consider Rocky to be a great movie?).

    The problem is that Bright took a nuanced screenplay about how racism is ultimately a tool of the elite to keep power away from the lower castes and tried to make it into an action movie for people who are likely watching Netflix while also doing something else. Despite most reviewers decrying the “dumbing down of cinema,” in this case I think it is an admirable goal – what movie group needs a lesson on racism as a divisive tool of the elite more than action movie fans with short/divided attentions?!

    So instead of witty dialogue, it hits you over the head with blunt lines like “fairy lives don’t matter.” And yet despite that, very few of the movie’s reviewers discuss the racial themes in any meaningful way. If anything, that is the movie’s biggest failure…

    • Steve Towers Steve Towers says:

      “Vin Diesel sleeps with like 9 women even though he is like 55…” — LOL

      Robert probably self-edited his desire to opine, “Gross.”

      I have to admit, when I saw “Emanuel” in your link, I briefly expected it to be a review of an “Emmanuelle” sequel about a geriatric French woman’s sexual re-awakening. Inappropriate, dude.

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