Reflections in The Mirror (While Shaving): Part 27

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A little advice to men posting photos on a dating service … don’t pose wearing a wife-beater T-shirt, while holding up a fish (bigger is not better) with your pit bull Sparky nearby.

I heard someone say he was depressed about being depressed. Ok, now I’m concerned because that makes sense to me.

A friend tells me she gives me the same instructions over and over and I still can’t seem to get it right .… either she’s adding new stuff or I’m not listening … Yeah I think she’s adding new stuff too.

Standing on the deck when one of the Turtle Bay bald eagles snatched a trout from the river and landed on a tree 10 feet away… caught its breath…took mine.

All of us can identify problems…some can suggest solutions…fewer yet can implement solutions… the rarest of people implement solutions and deflect personal credit. I’ve known one…maybe.

It’s just so tempting to say, “Look at me! I did it!”

Most mornings the exchange with Brain goes something like… “Why at times, can I turn the key and you spring to life like a jet boat, other times you make me pull the rope to start an outboard motor and some days you make me use oars?”… Brain: “Row, row and row… After all these years you still gotta ask.”

Sometime in the distant past, I must have abused Brain and since the memory belongs to Brain…well, you see the horn with my dilemma peeking over the tip. After looking up the spelling for dilemma, I’m not sure the word applies but the alternatives are perplexing.

The guy in the mirror gives me an odd little smirk and mumbles something about disappointing him for the last 6 months… evidently I’ve disappointed/irritated my heel, back, shoulder, knees… they all complain each morning…and now Brain… and some snide comment about still looking stupid without the mustache.

I like the words “smattering” and “plethora”… (words suggested by Jill for use here but since I have a firm policy of plagiarism she’ll have to go unaccredited).

I sat staring intently at the dish just placed on the table…one of my very favorite people said, “ Today I feel like I should call you Mr. Mudford.” She explained I seemed disconnected to everything happening and hadn’t smiled since I walked in…

Although I was thinking the calamari looked great, nothing registered in my facial expressions. I have a habit of internalizing emotions… see, I think I’m a riot inside, playing to full houses, standing ovations, etc., while outwardly, I do a lot of blank stares.

My friend was driving us to a golf course when he jumped up and down in his seat, pounded the steering wheel and used a creative line of swear words I wish I had thought of… he was shouting what the car ahead of him had done, all the time cutting off other drivers and swerving across the center line.… my first time observing up-close an actual road-rager. Once is enough.

Refreshing break…take a little timeout from the normal dash*dash*dash to ask a question and actually listen to the answer—question/answer unimportant—

Doug Mudford is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, 530.243.8008. Send questions for “That Lawyer Guy” to

Doug Mudford’s photo illustration by Michael Burke of Redding. Click here to see more Michael Burke photos.

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Doug Mudford
is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, (530) 243-8008, or
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15 Responses

  1. Avatar Sue says:

    Love this. Started my Friday off right. You rock, Doug.

  2. Avatar Doug Mudford says:

    Thank you Sue…you started my Friday off right.


  3. Avatar Canda says:

    You never fail to crack me up, Doug. I so look forward to your columns! Thanks for the chuckles!

  4. Avatar AJ says:

    Smiles, chuckes, and a-has. What a lovely gift to get in the morning!!

    That bit about starting the brain .. .. .. waaaay too familiar, even at the early morning hour of 10:00 a.m. Hey, I'm a musicians. Our mornings start at noon.

  5. Funny and poignant (had to look that one up), as always!

  6. Avatar Doug Mudford says:


    That one gets me too…every time.


  7. Avatar Tanya says:

    I think that if a man would be caught dead in a wife beater while holding up a fish with his pit bull sparky close by, he should DEFINITELY use that exact picture as his cover shot for a dating service. It's only fair that a gal can see what what she is getting herself into!

    • Tanya, as someone who's visited some of those online dating sites, I can tell you that there are men whose profile photos are exactly as Doug describes. No joke. (But it helps to keep a sense of humor.)

  8. Avatar Doug Mudford says:


    I like your perspective better than mine…


  9. Avatar Name says:

    OK – time for Doug to dress up in a wife-beater shirt, holding a catfish, with a pitbull nearby…

    Well, maybe not, as it probably would not be good for business. But it would be kinda funny!

    • Avatar Doug Mudford says:


      I don't think I could be photographed like that, even to collect a smile, but you make an interesting point… how would I (or any of you) choose to be depicted in a photo if trying to make a good impression? I don't have an immediate answer… I'll have to think about that.


      • That's a really good question, Doug. (I think Julie makes a good point, that some guys might be submitting photos of themselves as they'd to see of women … does that make sense?)

        I'm always amazed when someone submits a photo of themselves that they think is their best shot, and then I see another photo that I think is more flattering. Maybe our perceptions make us blind to what we really look like. (Thanks for another delightful, thought-provoking column, btw.)

  10. Avatar Aleta says:

    More than one perplexing alternative presents you with another dilemma. I like the word "myriad" …

    • Avatar Doug Mudford says:


      While I like your comment, I'm a little perplexed that you've found a way around my plagiarism policy… there must be a word to describe my… uh… dilemma.


  11. Avatar Julie D says:


    The pictures on dating sites have been in Many conversations with my friends. I took it upon myself to post in my profile that these kind of photos did not interest me. "I get totally turned off when I am looking thru a profile and there are pictures of someone half naked standing in front of a mirror taking a picture of themselves." as stated in my current profile. I always wondered if it is because this is the kind of picture they are wanting to see from us girls?

    Thanks for the chuckle!