The Brewmaster’s Night Before Christmas

By Canda Williams

It was 30 years ago this month that I wrote The Night Before Dea to celebrate the birth of my daughter. This year I was inspired by my husband Don’s passion for brewing, and took computer in hand to create this poem to share with you.

The Brewmaster’s Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before kegging, when all through the pub

Not a carboy was stirring, not even a blub;

The hops had been added to the wort with care,

In hopes that a 50/50 soon would be there;

I was nestled all snug in my bed,

While visions of blue ribbons danced in my head;

The spices were added, allowed nicely to steep,

And I was all settled down for a long night’s sleep;

When out in the pub there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter,

Away to the brewpub I flew like a flash,

Tore open the door and tripped on a sash.

The glow of red on the pool table so bright,

Gave me pause as I saw an unbelievable sight,

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Santa and 8 reindeer, drinking my beer.

With a belly so round and his hat all askew,

I knew in a moment, he’d had more than a few;

More rapid than eagles he lifted his mug,

And he whistled and shouted, and took a few chugs;

More, Belgian! More Porter! More Kolsch and Stout,

More, Amber! More Wheat! More Bach and Alt;
His eyes, how they glazed, his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

The hair from his cap was in need of a comb,

And the beard of his chin was covered in foam.

My eyes flew to my kegger, holding 8 kegs of beer,

Sipping each tap was a tiny reindeer!

The glow in the room, flashed on my night clothes,

It was Rudolph passed out, except for his nose.

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

I yelled “dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

Brewing barrels of coffee, I begged them partake,

They sipped the hot joe and they jolted awake!

Now up to the house top the coursers they flew,

Old Jolly and reindeer yelled, “Thanks for the brew!

Warm cookies and milk await us tonight,

Your home brew was perfect, the flavor just right!”

As I stood in stunned silence, and was shaking my head,

I thought, “Did I dream or fall out of my bed?”

My thoughts were confirmed, as I heard out in the night,

“I’m a convert this Christmas. To heck with Bud Light!”

Canda Williams is a retired schoolteacher who lives in Lake California with her husband (and brewmaster) Don Williams. When Canda’s not writing poems, she sells advertising for anewscafe.com. She also sells customized personalized hooded bath towels for children and adults on her website www.candakay.com and on Etsy.

Note from Doni: This is a best-of column from 2008, back when anewscafe.com had just a few thousand unique visitors each month. Now anewscafe.com has nearly 60,000 unique visitors each month, so we thought we’d bring out some of the favorite columns for those readers who missed it during its first publication. Enjoy.

Santa with beer image: www.tooprogressive.com

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1 Response

  1. Avatar Judy says:

    Toooo funny!! Nice job, Canda. Merry Christmas.