Reflections in a Mirror (While Shaving): Part 25

• The plumber came to unplug my drain…he said it was hair. He looked a little startled when I gave him a high five and a large tip. I was so proud I had enough hair left to clog a drain.

• I admire the man in the red plaid shirt and bent hat trying so hard to cross the street by ever so carefully putting one foot in front of the other… I’ve felt like that on occasion.

• I’m going to try a new shaving implement this morning … near as I can figure, the design is based loosely on Roto Rooter… the man in the mirror looks a little nervous.

•  I grew up in a household where my dad sat in his tee shirt at the kitchen table and drank bourbon out of a water glass while my mom worked a night shift at a local hospital…the Cleavers we weren’t but it seemed to work. The kids grew up ok.

• Great tee shirt logo…”The Cleavers We Weren’t”.

• A friend added a year or so to her age… everyone believed her. Now she wants the years back but no one believes her… age doesn’t appear to allow U-turns.

• With one minute of instruction (I actually listened for 30 seconds before my eyes glazed over), I took a Harley for a ride along Malibu… no helmet, just a bathing suit. It seemed like such a good idea. The bike and I wound up on a resident’s lawn. After a civil exchange of four letter words, I made it back to the starting point without further issue.

• The point to the last paragraph is that the world is a better place because I never had kids… I can’t even imagine lecturing them with a straight face about “making good decisions”, “hanging with right people”, ad nauseam…etc.

• A friend and I stood for hours outside a small corner market, chewing bubble gum and exchanging $2000 baseball cards…at the time they were a nickel.

• I once worked for a man charitably described as “driven”. I asked his formula for success… “Get a loan, buy stuff, live long enough for it to become valuable”.

• My mind has a wastebasket reserved for useless, out-dated information but I just can’t push the delete button… I never know when I might need a worn cliché or a discarded reason for revenge or even a…

• My heel hurts…the doc says quit drinking. I have a rash on my leg…the doc says quit drinking…my shoulder aches…same advice. This doc is my second (or third) opinion… can’t be good.

• I love airports…I always thank the security guard for the little extra during the pat-down; I shrug it off when my flight is delayed an hour or two and I laugh when the stranger sitting next to me in the restaurant asks for a “loan” with a loose repayment schedule…I love airports.

• A look I’m developing that isn’t good…that little triangle my shirt makes when it puckers open at the belly button. Triangles are bad.

Doug Mudford is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, 530.243.8008. Send questions for “That Lawyer Guy” to [email protected].

Doug Mudford's photo illustration by Michael Burke of Redding. Click here to see more Michael Burke photos.

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Doug Mudford
is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, (530) 243-8008, or [email protected]
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15 Responses

  1. Thank you for putting a "smile" on my face this morning Doug! Delightful reading.

    As for what the "doc" tells you… they tell you to quit drinking… then write an Rx for pain meds because you feel so bad… hmmmm maybe some yoga instead? 🙂

    Enjoy this day…

    Nancy

    • Doug Mudford says:

      Hi Nancy

      I'd like to say I'm strong enough to refuse the pain pills…I would really like to say that… So tell me more about this yoga stuff. Does it in any way resemble exercise?

      Doug

      • I understand about the pain pills Doug. When you don't know you have alternatives they look like sunshine in a bottle!

        Exercise? Hummmm, Yoga comes in as many varieties as yoga teachers. What we offer at my studio is different from other places in Redding. Conscious Living Yoga is healing, therapeutic, loving, kind, gentle yoga. It's not about what your body can or can't do… it's about healing yourself from the inside out so you can enjoy each day of your life to the max.

        I call the yoga mat our "life lab". We get to hit the pause button on our lives and take a well deserved "time in" to listen to our inner guidance system…. which we often ignore.

        It might serve you to take a leap of faith and join me on a Monday evening 5:30p class… Who knows, you might just find a moment of relief without having to pop a pill. What's the down side? You might find a moment of relief without popping a pill and be frustrated that your doctor never mentioned this ancient form of healing to you. But you'll get over that and then you'll have a new addiction…. Yoga. We all have it there! 🙂

        Hope to see you soon…

        With respect,

        Nancy

  2. jacki g. says:

    Nancy's right…you'd be surprised!

  3. Eleanor says:

    Wow, Doug, have been waiting on the latest update……..it's been too long!

    Love 'ad nauseam' and 'etc.' is useful too, but it worries me to see 'ad nauseam…etc.' Dontcha think ad nauseam is enough for anyone………….

    (yeah, my mind has a wastebasket like that too……..)

    • Doug Mudford says:

      Eleanor

      For a person with a normal thought process, "ad nauseam" is more than sufficient. I seem to need little booster rockets of emphasis.

      Do you think we ever get to empty our wastebaskets? We could have a swap day…everyone puts their basket on the curb…we can select one from any other address.

      Doug

      • Terry says:

        I loved your article, as usual.

        Was chuckling at the "ad nauseam" interchange…

        I have a lot of high school Latin left in my head –

        In school, our catch phrase was: "Ad nauseam, ad infinitum!"

  4. Doug, triangles are definitely bad!

  5. Terry says:

    Speaking of Latin…one of my favorite jokes:

    The rookie reporter asked her boss "Where is 'in absentia'?",

    because that's where the trial was being held!

  6. Joanne Lobeski Snyde says:

    Your article is superb. I look forward to reading what you have to share. Don't delete that wastebasket yet! True insights often happen when there are a lot of, what may seem useless, facts to draw from.

  7. Robyn says:

    How wonderful it is that life in all its glory(?) can yield such happiness. You are a blessing Doug and this made my morning!!

  8. Adrienne Jacoby says:

    Triangles are ALWAYS bad . . . just as long as there no hair sticking out of them!!

  9. Adrienne Jacoby says:

    Well . . . so much for my editing skills. That was SUPPOSED to read: "Triangles AREN'T . . . " That may make more sense . . . . or not.

    • Doug Mudford says:

      Adrienne

      For someone with my "interesting, mature" body shape, you were right the first time…triangles are always bad. I probably should listen to the salesperson when it is politely suggested a trim fit dress shirt is not a good look for me.

      Doug

  10. Proud Family says:

    Hilarious as always…and congrats on the hair clog!

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