Dude Wisdom: Caught Between a Rock and a Public Place

The Dude is lovin’ some sunshine. We passed through the all-too-brief period we Northern Californians become enamored with each year — the roughly 2-week window of warm weather, preceded by cold storms and followed by triple-digit temps. It seems we’ll get a short reprieve for the next several days in Redding. Enjoy it while you can — it won’t be this nice again until September. Though the Nor-Cal oven is still just preheating, summer lovin’ seems to be cooking up nicely.


My girlfriend wants to do it in public. She’s in her early 20s and totally turned on by the possibility of getting caught and thinks it’s exciting. I’m in my 30s and think getting caught would be bad for my professional reputation. Am I wrong here?

The Dude fancies himself a law-abiding citizen and would not encourage behavior out of alignment with the law. That said, the idea of getting busy in public can, for many people, arouse excitement. So I guess you have to ask yourself a couple things: 1) Is the potentially mind blowing sex worth the punishment that may come with it (and damage to your professional reputation), and 2) Is this the girl that’s right for you, right now? You’re obviously on different planes – so the answer to your question might be a little more metaphysical than you’re willing to admit. As a side note, check out this photo that’s gone viral online. Vancouver riots. Guns. Fires. Getting busy in the middle of the street. Maybe you should take a trip north …

Dude Man,

My friend is moving, and I got roped into helping him. I’ve had to help him move twice in two years and he’s got more crap than he knows what to do with. It’s like “Hoarders.” He’s a good friend, so I hate saying no, but I also don’t want to move couches up three flights of stairs as my Saturday activity. Should I ditch out?

I’m going to go ahead and say it: The Dude hates moving. The Dude further dislikes helping other people move. There are always barbed bait promises like “it’s just help with the large stuff,” or “it’ll only take an hour, tops.” Promises like these are always false, the experienced realist in me believes. You both know it’s going to take longer. It’s a pain in the ass, but what’s a Saturday for a friend, who undoubtedly provides you emotional benefit the rest of the year. And grumpy about it though you may be, you still do it. Because that’s what friends do. Because that’s what you would want somebody else to do the next time you move. Agree, with the condition that he brings the bourbon and you bring the oranges and cherries, and after a day of couch-slanging you whip up a batch of old fashioneds.

Hey Dude,
I’m a recently single mom. I’m 24 with a 5-year-old and it’s been really hard trying to meet a new guy. I feel like guys check me out when I’m at the store, but look away as soon as they see my son. How do guys want me to act?

Guys, at least the ones to whom you should consider giving the time of day, want you to be comfortable in yourself. A strong woman caring for a child is a very sexy thing. It’s not a stretch to say that a lot of guys at that age have no idea what they’re looking for. And that’s perfectly fine. Don’t lower yourself to attract some guy who doesn’t want you for you. Look, you need a power shift. Approach it differently. Showcase your value – raise your standards, never lower them. Carry yourself as the beautiful woman you are and guys will be thankful you took the time to acknowledge them.

Dude Wisdom is a column written by a guy from town. This column aims to flip the traditional advice column on its head, spin it around a few times, then knock it over with a roundhouse kick. Email your quandaries to dudewisdom@gmail.com. Remember, this Dude abides.

A News Cafe, founded in Shasta County by Redding, CA journalist Doni Greenberg, is the place for people craving local Northern California news, commentary, food, arts and entertainment. Views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of anewscafe.com.

The Dude

is a guy from town. His column aims to flip the traditional love advice column on its head, spin it around a few times, then knock it over with a roundhouse kick. Find him on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/DudeWise or email your relationship quandaries to dudewisdom@gmail.com. Remember, this dude abides.

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