Dude Wisdom: The 3-day Rule & a Tattoo Terror


The Dude consults with one of his fans during the first Dude event, held at Capone’s Speakeasy last week.

First, the Dude’s first event at Capone’s was pretty Dude-a-riffic. Talked to some really interesting people, answered a few questions and had a few of my own questions answered as well! Working on editing the footage to post a podcast, so bear with me. Also, I received some really good questions last week. I’m noticing more women are writing in, asking about their beaus. And I encourage it. Keep the questions coming, and always remember to visit The Dude’s Facebook Page! Oh, and stay tuned … we are working on our next Dude event – details to come!

Here’s what you brought forth to the Dude most recently:

I went out the other night, and had a great time with this girl. It’s been a while since I’ve dated (just ended a three-year relationship a few months ago) and the age-old question remains – How long should I wait to call her? Or Facebook her? Or text her? I’m so lost.
-What Next?

Most guys will tell you to wait three days (remember that scene in Swingers?). This is the first stab at a new relationship you’ve had in a long while. Give yourself a few days to process whether you experienced excitement in the act of a date with a new person, or if you truly enjoyed this person. A few days allows you perspective. But, if you feel you must contact her sooner, send a text. Just one simple text, preferably the afternoon following the date. “I had a great time last night, hope to see you again soon,” type of thing. It lets her know you’re thinking about her without looking desperate. Oh, and lay off the Facebook. It’s her private space for now.

I’m worried about what my girlfriend thinks of me. We have a great relationship, great sex, but I can’t help feeling a little paranoid sometimes. She loves mainstream beautiful. Always infatuated with Zac Effron’s chiseled, hairless body. I have shoulder strap back hair and a few extra pounds in tow. How do I know if she really wants me, or if she’s fantasizing about somebody else while we’re together?
-Tim the Who-man

Confidence, Timmy. Confidence. Your girl is with you for a reason. How many times have you seen a hot girl on the cover of a magazine or walking down the street and checked her out? Women do the same thing. Sack up, Timmy. And if you’re still concerned, treat your lady the way no other man could treat her. If she wanted a smooth-skinned boy toy, she’d have one. She wants a man, so act like one.

Let me just say, I love my girl. I love, love, love her. But she wants me to get her name tattooed on my calf. I thought she was just joking at first. She wasn’t joking. I keep hoping she forgets about it. She isn’t forgetting. Is there a way to tell her that’s a crazy idea without making it sound like she’s the one that’s crazy?
-Tattoo Taboo

First, delete the word “crazy” from your vocabulary. A mere mention of it will come back to haunt you. Here’s the reality – you’re being persuaded to do something you don’t want to do. Relationships are about sacrifice as much as benefit, to be sure. But there are certain things to which you can’t accede. You have to draw the line, friendo. Always respect her boundaries, but maintain yours as well.

Dude Wisdom is a column written by a guy from town. This column aims to flip the traditional love advice column on its head, spin it around a few times, then knock it over with a roundhouse kick. Find the Dude on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/DudeWise or email your relationship quandaries to dudewisdom@gmail.com. Remember, this dude abides.

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is a guy from town. His column aims to flip the traditional love advice column on its head, spin it around a few times, then knock it over with a roundhouse kick. Find him on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/DudeWise or email your relationship quandaries to dudewisdom@gmail.com. Remember, this dude abides.
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10 Responses

  1. Avatar Karen C says:

    RE: the tatoo on your calf. If you don't want a tatoo, don't like tatoos, and don't want to mark up your body with ugly ink, tell her exactly that. If she can't understand that about you….I'd look elsewhere for a woman who will listen. This one sounds a bit childish to me.

    • Avatar gamerjohn says:

      Not to mention explaining to the next girl and the ones after that, who Roxie (or whatever her name is) was so that you had her marked on your skin forever.

      I came so close to having my first wife's name on my shoulder, but it cost a tad bit too much and then I found out she hated tats. I would have been stuck dating girls with her name forever.

    • Avatar The Dude (Author) says:

      I agree with you both. Nothing is permanent but tattoos and some STDs. In either case, prepare yourself for the long-term effects.

  2. Avatar Joanne Lobeski Snyde says:

    Wow. Wonderful article. My respect grows.

  3. Avatar gamerjohn says:

    BTW, what is shoulder strap back hair? As featured on Karate Kid, "Wax on, wax off."

    • Avatar The Dude (Author) says:

      When the hair goes up the chest, crawls over the shoulders, and nestles around the upper back. Unless one is highly flexible, a waxing of that magnitude is not advised. Better ask for help with this one 😉

  4. Avatar Awakened Goddess says:

    What a blessing…what a blessing to have you sharing your wisdom from an authentic place. Thank you! It is evident that you wish to make a difference for other dudes..and thereby make a difference for women as well. The lovely continuous cycle between men and women can be a fun adventure to navigate and your honesty is so refreshing and delightful.

    Still though…I wonder who the real dude is?
    Why remain anonymous? Could it be that if everyone knew who you are that your celebrity status would be taken to new heights..and life would never be the same? Or is to avoid the Redding paparazzi, because we all know they can be notoriously persistent!

    Will the real dude please stand up? Pretty please…:)

    Either way, love the column and keep the honesty coming…

    • Avatar The Dude (Author) says:

      Thank you, Awakened Goddess. I, too, enjoy the adventure of relationships. I don't know if you're familiar, but the Jake column in Glamour magazine is an interesting read.

      I remain anonymous for the sake of comfort. I have also been building a persona behind The Dude. We do events, parties and will have merchandise available soon. Also, like the Jake column I suggest you check out, if, one day, my life takes me away from being able to continue this column, I want to have the platform set in place so a worthy successor could easily take the reins.

      I don't plan on this happening any time soon, but I feel the persona is an integral part of this column and The Dude behind it. Make no mistake. The Dude is real, and he cares.

      Thanks for checking in!

  5. Avatar offgridguy says:

    The only acceptable tatoos are: 1) USMC; 2) USN; 3) Mom (in a heart). Everything else is foolishness.