The Dude consults with one of his fans during the first Dude event, held at Capone’s Speakeasy last week.
First, the Dude’s first event at Capone’s was pretty Dude-a-riffic. Talked to some really interesting people, answered a few questions and had a few of my own questions answered as well! Working on editing the footage to post a podcast, so bear with me. Also, I received some really good questions last week. I’m noticing more women are writing in, asking about their beaus. And I encourage it. Keep the questions coming, and always remember to visit The Dude’s Facebook Page! Oh, and stay tuned … we are working on our next Dude event – details to come!
Here’s what you brought forth to the Dude most recently:
I went out the other night, and had a great time with this girl. It’s been a while since I’ve dated (just ended a three-year relationship a few months ago) and the age-old question remains – How long should I wait to call her? Or Facebook her? Or text her? I’m so lost.
Most guys will tell you to wait three days (remember that scene in Swingers?). This is the first stab at a new relationship you’ve had in a long while. Give yourself a few days to process whether you experienced excitement in the act of a date with a new person, or if you truly enjoyed this person. A few days allows you perspective. But, if you feel you must contact her sooner, send a text. Just one simple text, preferably the afternoon following the date. “I had a great time last night, hope to see you again soon,” type of thing. It lets her know you’re thinking about her without looking desperate. Oh, and lay off the Facebook. It’s her private space for now.
I’m worried about what my girlfriend thinks of me. We have a great relationship, great sex, but I can’t help feeling a little paranoid sometimes. She loves mainstream beautiful. Always infatuated with Zac Effron’s chiseled, hairless body. I have shoulder strap back hair and a few extra pounds in tow. How do I know if she really wants me, or if she’s fantasizing about somebody else while we’re together?
-Tim the Who-man
Confidence, Timmy. Confidence. Your girl is with you for a reason. How many times have you seen a hot girl on the cover of a magazine or walking down the street and checked her out? Women do the same thing. Sack up, Timmy. And if you’re still concerned, treat your lady the way no other man could treat her. If she wanted a smooth-skinned boy toy, she’d have one. She wants a man, so act like one.
Let me just say, I love my girl. I love, love, love her. But she wants me to get her name tattooed on my calf. I thought she was just joking at first. She wasn’t joking. I keep hoping she forgets about it. She isn’t forgetting. Is there a way to tell her that’s a crazy idea without making it sound like she’s the one that’s crazy?
First, delete the word “crazy” from your vocabulary. A mere mention of it will come back to haunt you. Here’s the reality – you’re being persuaded to do something you don’t want to do. Relationships are about sacrifice as much as benefit, to be sure. But there are certain things to which you can’t accede. You have to draw the line, friendo. Always respect her boundaries, but maintain yours as well.
Dude Wisdom is a column written by a guy from town. This column aims to flip the traditional love advice column on its head, spin it around a few times, then knock it over with a roundhouse kick. Find the Dude on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/DudeWise or email your relationship quandaries to email@example.com. Remember, this dude abides.
A News Cafe, founded in Shasta County by Redding, CA journalist Doni Greenberg, is the place for people craving local Northern California news, commentary, food, arts and entertainment.