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Caribou Barbie to Stay Clothed

You’ve probably heard by now that former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has added a matinee performance to her sellout February appearance in Redding, but we’ve got an update. If you look at the Redding Convention Center’s website, you’ll see that the speech gets the same rating treatment as movies and Broadway shows. Here’s what it says:

Violence: None

Language: None

Nudity: None

I’ll let you insert your own Palin joke here. It’s so easy, you can do it yourself!

Anyway, the former vice presidential candidate is a guaranteed big hit in Redding, where she’s kicking off the annual Sierra-Cascade Logging Conference on Feb. 8. The evening show sold out quickly, prompting the addition of the 3 p.m. matinee on the same day.

Here’s the part that wows me: Tickets are $74 and $54. Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t pay $74 to see Bruce Springsteen, much less Sarah Palin.

Tell you what, Redding Convention Center, dump the Palin speech and let me do it instead. I can get up and be incomprehensible in front of large crowds; I’ve done it before. I’d charge half as much as Palin. Hell, I’d even throw in a little nudity. Think it over and get back to me.

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