I read your story and I believe I have the answer to all of your online dating needs; Me.

I am a single wide male old enough to have received a polio vaccine on a sugar cube. I have my own teeth and the receipt to prove it. I love food and fine wine and assume you have plenty of both, otherwise disregard this note.

I have never been married, despite the claims of an obviously delusional woman from Poughkepsie, which I can explain when we have more time (perhaps over a home-cooked meal and a glass of chablis - cooked at your home with a freshly opened box of chablis, of course).

I love travel and staying at fine hotels, but I also love the outdoors - which is convenient since that's where the managers of the fine hotels keep putting me.

I am a health nut and once spent a four year stretch lifting weights and amassing a fine art collection, most of which you can see when I take off my shirt. I still like to lift things and am pretty good at it, rarely being noticed.

I like dogs and kids and enjoy turning the hose on them when they get too close, so you can see I'm a fun-loving guy.

I'd sure like to meet you, maybe over a bottle of NyQuil - and I can give you a ride in my van (once I get it running again).

Signed,

Your Prince

Blessings...

I have lots of true loves - family, friends, my adorable grandAustin, and yes, so many of you on this community site. I'm blessed to have a cup full of love from so many sources.

Thanks for the kind words, but truly, my heart doesn't ache anymore - well, almost never. I've done all the heavy emotional lifting and have kicked most painful crap to the curb.

It really is true what they say about time healing all wounds (or time wounds all heels, as others say). Truly, I'm in a much better, happier place now than I was, say 2 years ago.

To those who are suffering a recent heartbreak, I'm here to tell you that it DOES get better; that pain and sorrow will be replaced with joy and love.

I'm so happy for you two. You give love a good name.

I've never seen him before, but if I met him, I'd know him on sight.

I'm going to start dropping stuff in the produce aisle.

For me, I learned great weeding-out skills that allowed me to identify and avoid those guys.

Keep the faith, Jane.

You're worth the wait Doni. Hang in there.

Yes, indeed. eHarmony was a complete waste of time and money... after I specified that I was not interested in anyone further away than 25 miles, eHarmony kept finding dates for me who lived in Santa Cruz and Sacramento.

In my time on Match.com, I went on several go-nowhere dates. There was the guy who had lived alone so long that he no longer knew how to have a conversation.... by the end of his one-hour monologue, my eyes had glazed over and I was ready to feign a sudden attack of appendicitis. There was the guy who liked me on email but when we met for lunch apparently hated me on sight, crossing his legs away from me and his arms across his chest. I think there was steam coming out of his ears. And there were others that I've mercifully forgotten.

There were emails from guys wanting "friends with benefits" (not the actual phrase they used). And a lot of emails from guys who had not read my profile; otherwise they would have know that smoking was a deal-breaker for me. Oh, and being married was also a deal-breaker, but that didn't stop some of them.

The guys with pictures of their dogs, RVs, SUVs, motorcycles, etc. are really doing you a favor. They're saying, "If you go out with me, this is what we'll be doing. I hate opera. I love beer."

But as you know, all was well that ended well, since I met my husband on Match. We've been together 8 years... so there are successful stories out there.