Dear J,

I’m in college, finishing up my freshman year. It’s my first time living away from home. My parents are three hours away, but my mom calls every day and wants to come up all the time. She’s always questioning…

Dear Readers,
On Feb. 28, 2009 A News Cafe published a “Dear J” column titled “My Mother’s Memory is Failing.” In that column, I attempted to give the questioner some direction on intervening ( or not ) on her mother’s behalf. That column…

Dear J,

What are the right things to say to friends or relatives who are terminally ill, or to their caretakers?  Do you ask about death, or if they’re scared, or peaceful? Do they want to talk about it or are…

Dear J,

The issue of drinkers versus nondrinkers came up during the holidays.

We have many friends and family who don’t drink alcohol. I worry that it’s insensitive for me to drink, or for me to serve alcohol to those who drink…

Dear J,

My mother, in her 70s, is losing short-term memory.  She’s starting to merge and alter memories of recent events, or forgets them altogether, and repeats herself more often.  Otherwise she’s in good heath. Naturally, a medication check and a…

Dear J,

How does one gently tell one’s boyfriend to stop making that godawful snorting noise before one takes a cast-iron skillet to his skull?

A little on edge, perhaps? Hmm, maybe it’s just me, but it sounds like you’re pretty frazzled.…

Dear J,

I’m a dumb-ass. Once again, I’ve double-booked a friend’s event over a quasi-work event. I hate to let either one down. I swear, I have calendars everywhere, and I use them, but there’s a lot going on.

What should I…

Dear J,

I’m in a job I love, but I hate my boss, who’s a control-freak tyrant who will never leave his position because he makes a ton of money.

I know I should change jobs for my own sanity, but jobs…

Dear J,

I’m a recently divorced woman who’s maintained friendships with our dear, lifelong married friends. On two different occasions two of the men/friends made passes at me (unprovoked, unwelcome).

It’s as if when I was married to my ex/their friend I was off…

Dear J,

I’m a menopausal woman. My sex drive is in the toilet, which means my sex life is practically non-existent, which doesn’t seem fair to my terrific guy, but I’m not into obligatory sex. I want to feel horny again.…

Dear J,

My mother is Jekyll and Hyde. She’s been like this as long as I can remember. When she’s up she’s funny and generous. When she’s down she’s mean and sarcastic.

There’s always a period of silence where I withdraw from…

Dear J:

I’ve always wanted to know: What’s the kindest, yet most-effective way to deal with people who hog conversational balls, hold court, lecture, repeat stories (mainly about themselves and/or people unknown to everyone else)? They’ll recite entire passages from TV,…

Dear J:

Say you’re at a party, and you’re deep in a conversation with someone. Suddenly another person walks up and stands there, obviously wanting to start a new conversation. You like both people. What’s the most polite, considerate way to…

Dear J:

I usually love the holidays, but not this year. I’m the main breadwinner, and I lost my job recently. I know many others who’ve also lost their jobs, or homes, and/or are trying to get by on less money…

Dear J,

My youngest son, Doug, who is just turning 16, is hounding me about getting his license and buying a car because his older brother got one at this age and we helped him.

The problem is that his older brother…

Dear J,

I’m so unhappy with how the election turned out. I’m so sad, mad and frustrated that it’s beginning to affect my work and family life! I’m obsessing! Help me!
Fran B.

Dear Fran,

The long, torturous election season invaded many households. The…