Reflections In The Mirror (While Shaving) #34

• The most linear thought I have takes a circuitous route.

• Ever have the feeling that some thoughts are almost worth keeping … those that make the grade and can be let out in public … others are so mediocre, they aren’t worth the effort to discard … I used to blame my bad ideas on my mother but I’ve matured some so I now blame the sub-standard educational system.

• Talking to myself is the only thing that keeps me sane. This may be a bit of a slippery slope but circuitously speaking, it sorta makes sense…

• Same question with every checkup…”how much do you drink?”… same answer for many years …”two glasses of wine per day”… someday, the doctor and I are going to discuss the increasing size of those glasses, but for now we are content with continuity.

• A smirk is a black-sheep smile …what?

• Your lousy attitude is no match for my brilliant perspective …

• Checked my new, auto-update to-do list … only 8 1/2 months until Christmas.

• My new auto-wine opener is performing better … only three broken corks last week … the wine seems a little corky but after my allotted two glasses, I don’t care.

• The mirror asks why I write incessantly about wine, weight, food, hair and attitude … is there something else? Ok Bud, I’ll give it try.

• First of all mirror, let me adjust my hand (fingers) (finger) so you can see me better.

• A portly man, with wisps of red hair, did all the cooking for his family while drinking cheap wine … dammit … put me back in coach, I can do better.

• Let me try it this way … a skinny, long-haired, Type-A, drunk … I’m thinking … I’m thinking.

• A duck walks into a bar

• I think I’m beginning to spin out of orbit, so let me get serious for a moment … thank you, I feel less “spinned”.

• I recently spent time explaining the “Law of Diminishing Returns” … no mirror, why is unimportant… since I was an economic major in college. I was appalled at my inability to describe it succinctly (got to look that word up someday) … I blame the sub-standard educational system, ah hell, throw my mother in there, too.

Doug Mudford is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, 530.243.8008. Send questions for “That Lawyer Guy” to

Doug Mudford’s photo illustration by Michael Burke of Redding.

Doug Mudford
is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, (530) 243-8008, or
Comment Policy: We welcome your comments, with some caveats: Please keep your comments positive and civilized. If your comment is critical, please make it constructive. If your comment is rude, we will delete it. If you are constantly negative or a general pest, troll, or hater, we will ban you from the site forever. The definition of terms is left solely up to us. Comments are disabled on articles older than 90 days. Thank you. Carry on.

6 Responses

  1. Eleanor Townsend says:

    Thank goodness! Way to save the day already by reading this column first thing (after getting coffee)!

    Good morning, Doug. Glad to see you (in the mirror)

  2. `AJacoby `AJacoby says:

    How succinct of you to sum up the entire column with that first sentence!

  3. joanne gifford says:

    Your columm always brightens my day.Thanks

  4. Doug Mudford says:

    Thank you Joanne… for you to take the time to comment brightens mine.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *