• The older I get the more I want to have a flat tummy. It’s become a contest of wills between my ego and the Pastry Chef… rounding the far turn, P. Chef is in the lead by a slice of lemon pie and a belt notch.
• My alterations person is the fantastic Barbara Stone. I’m not saying she’s conspiring with the pastry chef but every time I deliver a stack of clothes to alter, she rubs the belly of a little statue wearing a chef’s hat.
• Let’s play … up to now I rate a B. How about you?
• I think I get positive points for dealing with cancer… with obvious help from my great wife, doctors and friends.
• After all these years, I still can’t bring myself to say I “beat” cancer… superstitious I guess. Having cancer didn’t hurt but the treatment knocked me on my butt.
• I also get points for finding a job I like… I did more than my share of looking, including those late night calls to promises of “riches with no money down”. Those #*$@’s sitting on a beach in Hawaii really ticked me off… haven’t seen so many of them since the market crashed.
• I lose points for being so self-centered. At this stage, I thought I would talk less and do more to help others… unfortunately talking takes less effort.
• I think it also hurts my grade that I have spent more time trying to accumulate than appreciate. Some accumulations have been purchased, stored and passed out of favor without ever being used.
• The man in the mirror rolls his eyes and says, “look, don’t stop now… I have more suggestions for that second list”… hey, thanks but I think the readers get the idea.
• Loved the Mars space craft landing but had to turn away when scientists tried to give each other high fives… let’s just go back to the handshake…please.
• Favorite word for today… cannoli.
• Least favorite material … seersucker… it’s ugly, wrinkles just looking at it and makes me sweat.
• Wild pigs have invaded my lawn. If this sounds familiar, it’s because it happens every other year and I have to gripe about it. Last night, as I tried to make a noise to drive them away, the biggest pig burped loudly, shifted his toothpick to the other side of his snout and led his Pigettes on an ambling escape down the hillside.
• I love rural living… in a pig’s eye.
• I’m so fortunate to have spent most of my working life surrounded by bright, energetic, funny people.
• I’ve always been a little confused… (was going to add a profound insight here but I’m a little confused)
• Just shave…
Doug Mudford is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, 530.243.8008. Send questions for “That Lawyer Guy” to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Doug Mudford’s photo illustration by Michael Burke of Redding. Click here to see more Michael Burke photos.