Reflections in A Mirror (While Shaving) No. 30

• The older I get the more I want to have a flat tummy. It’s become a contest of wills between my ego and the Pastry Chef… rounding the far turn, P. Chef is in the lead by a slice of lemon pie and a belt notch.

• My alterations person is the fantastic Barbara Stone. I’m not saying she’s conspiring with the pastry chef but every time I deliver a stack of clothes to alter, she rubs the belly of a little statue wearing a chef’s hat.

• Let’s play … up to now I rate a B. How about you?

• I think I get positive points for dealing with cancer… with obvious help from my great wife, doctors and friends.

• After all these years, I still can’t bring myself to say I “beat” cancer… superstitious I guess. Having cancer didn’t hurt but the treatment knocked me on my butt.

• I also get points for finding a job I like… I did more than my share of looking, including those late night calls to promises of “riches with no money down”. Those #*$@’s sitting on a beach in Hawaii really ticked me off… haven’t seen so many of them since the market crashed.

• I lose points for being so self-centered. At this stage, I thought I would talk less and do more to help others… unfortunately talking takes less effort.

• I think it also hurts my grade that I have spent more time trying to accumulate than appreciate. Some accumulations have been purchased, stored and passed out of favor without ever being used.

• The man in the mirror rolls his eyes and says, “look, don’t stop now… I have more suggestions for that second list”… hey, thanks but I think the readers get the idea.

• Loved the Mars space craft landing but had to turn away when scientists tried to give each other high fives… let’s just go back to the handshake…please.

• Favorite word for today… cannoli.

• Least favorite material … seersucker… it’s ugly, wrinkles just looking at it and makes me sweat.

• Wild pigs have invaded my lawn. If this sounds familiar, it’s because it happens every other year and I have to gripe about it. Last night, as I tried to make a noise to drive them away, the biggest pig burped loudly, shifted his toothpick to the other side of his snout and led his Pigettes on an ambling escape down the hillside.

• I love rural living… in a pig’s eye.

• I’m so fortunate to have spent most of my working life surrounded by bright, energetic, funny people.

• I’ve always been a little confused… (was going to add a profound insight here but I’m a little confused)

• Just shave…

Doug Mudford is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, 530.243.8008. Send questions for “That Lawyer Guy” to doug@ca-lawyer.com.

Doug Mudford’s photo illustration by Michael Burke of Redding. Click here to see more Michael Burke photos.

Doug Mudford
is a lawyer and partner at Barr & Mudford, with an emphasis on serious personal injury. He may be reached at Barr & Mudford, 1824 Court St., Redding, (530) 243-8008, or doug@ca-lawyer.com.
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16 Responses

  1. don williams says:

    Doug, very reflective, and funny as usual. I could add one though. When I look in the mirror I always think, you're the SOB to blame that I'm not more successful.

    • Doug Mudford says:

      Don

      That's funny…I have the same problem with my guy!

      Doug

    • Don, I don't know what success yardstick you are using, but I hope you include in your tally the fact that are a great pub reporter, and beer-maker and beer judge. Most of all, what impresses me most is that you are a faithful, loving, supportive husband and incredible grandfather and friend.

      • Don Williams says:

        Doni, Thank you, it's just an obervation that most problems, short comings etc are the cause of the person in the mirror not someone else. We all make decisions go and bad that effect our lives. And yes, I'm very happy in my life.

  2. Canda says:

    Funny stuff, as always, Doug.

  3. Doug, whatever terminology you want to use – beat, dealt with, survived, conquered, endured – I am glad cancer is the past tense of your story, and that you are are alive and living a life that provides ongoing fodder for funny, insightful columns that entertain and inspire us. (Now, my words for the day: Whiskey, rum & brandy sauce. Would it overpower the cannoli? That's my kind of risk-taking.)

    • Doug Mudford says:

      Doni

      Cannoli, whisky, rum & brandy sauce should never be married (mixed) but they might flirt a little…ie, set the w,r&bs to the side and gently blow the aromas towards the cannoli… wave the cannoli through the scented air a couple of time and eat…ok it isn't lunchtime yet but I feel a great little pastry is setting a table for me.

      Doug

  4. So I guess we can't high-five 'ya for a good column? How about the fist bump?

    • Doug Mudford says:

      Thanks Robb…I'm pretty sure I was referring to me when mentioning a return to handshakes. I've whiffed on high fives and as to fist bumps , I think I'm being sued for escalating this gesture to a martial arts level…something about broken knuckles… damned lawyers.

      Doug

  5. Joanne Lobeski Snyde says:

    The "Reflections" articles are one of my favorite features of A News Cafe. Thank you Doug for sharing your reflections.

  6. Doug Mudford says:

    Joanne

    That's a nice thing to say. At times I get insecure about putting my sometimes quirky thoughts in writing. My goal is to evoke a smile or two from readers…as long as I can do that, it's worth batting the insecurities.

    Doug

  7. Jorgi Baker says:

    Doug,

    your "Reflections" article was right on. I always enjoy your column; it's insiteful as well as amusing. Keep up the good work. And . . . I, too, am so glad your cancer is in the past. Give Cherry a hug for me.

    Jorgi

  8. adrienne jacoby adrienne jacoby says:

    Doug . . . "Quirky reflections?" . . . Oh, puh-leeeze!!! if it weren't for your quirky reflections I wouldn't have anywhere to feel at home. Because of your Q.R.s I have had the temerity to commit some of mine into copy. Oh, wait . . . maybe 'commit' is an ill-advised word to use here!!

  9. Aleta says:

    … Just getting caught up on a few things (hence, the late post), but your comment about seersucker reminded me of one of my favorite film lines: The incomparable Meryl Streep, in "Sophy's Choice," while stroking the lapel of her co-actor's jacket, commented in yet another of her amazing accents, "Oh, Sting, you look so nice in your cocksucker suit!" (Consequently, I try to avoid use of the word, since Meryl's term always seems to come out of my mouth …)

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